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Milo Joseph


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It’s been a little over two months since I lost my son.

My pregnancy was healthy and up until the night he was born, normal.

I found out I was pregnant 03/25/2020, it was my first pregnancy and my fiancée and I were so excited to be parents. I felt fluttering by 19 weeks and by a week or two later I could feel his little kicks. Once he started kicking, he kept me up all hours of the night like he was saying “Mommy, I’m here.”

I was due 11/29/2020, two weeks before my due date on 11/14/2020 I went into L&D with painful contractions. I was terrified. We seen him on the screen and he was fine, but I was still slowly contracting.

The hospital sent me home after monitoring me for 8 hours. I had only dilated from a 2 to a 3 within those 8 hours. That whole week I had terrible nightmares of being put under for an emergency c section. I shrugged off all worries, telling myself I was just paranoid. On 11/22/2020, the last day of the zodiac Scorpio , the first snowfall of the season in my area, my fiancée rushed me to the hospital where my water broke as soon as we arrived. As soon as they had me hooked up to the monitors , they were having trouble finding his heartbeat, and with this probability they still let me labor for four hours until I was 7CM dilated. I was finally rushed into an emergency c section after four and a half hours of waiting for my little boy to come.

I woke up in a haze in recovery, the doctor who delivered my son came in and told me my son was delivered, and that he wasn’t breathing when he came out.

He had suffered severe brain damage due to loss of oxygen (HIE). We spent 3 weeks in the NICU at the Children’s Hospital that he was transferred to to be on a cooling bed to hopefully prevent any further damage to his brain. After 3 weeks, no progress and long nights of being hopeful, the doctors told us we had to let him go and we did on 12/15/2020. His memorial service was held 12/19/2020. And the pain of losing him is still as strong as it was that last time I saw him. I miss him so much [emoji3064]



Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.comIMG_2779.jpg

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