More irrationality

[LMR]

I  keep getting the weirdest feeling. Its that I am going to go back to my late teen years. It is very odd and has happened several times. This would be just before I met my soul mate. Its not scary when I think it, it feels like everything is ok but afterwards I'm wondering what's this all about. It's just peculiar. Has anyone else had this kind of feeling??

[Roxeanne]

I don't know if it's the same thing...i wish i could go back in time, 21 years ago when i met my soulmate and relive our life together

But it's no weird..it's like a sweet beautiful dream!

I think it's my reaction to a life without him, and to a scary and lonely life with covid and what does it means!

[Bennie Jets]

Maybe your mind is trying to be kind to you and protect you by trying to find a solution: it tries taking you back to the time before the relationship to get away from the pain it is causing you now?

[LMR]

 I think you must be right. My mind and my heart just cannot bear this pain. 

I have been through so many different scenarios already. I guess they each serve a purpose for a while. My brain is running out of ideas!

[JaynEm9220]

I think it’s part of ‘magical thinking’.  One of the ways your mind processes the disbelief you feel at them just being ‘gone’   I don’t like the term ‘denial’ because I don’t think for one minute any one of us here is in ‘denial’ about how our lives have changed irreversibly.  I live in a state of disbelief.  It’s such a bewildering state of being 

[Anaana]

Wow I only realised that now that I red your post. This happens to me too, my brain hops to previous memories, school, when I was with my exes, university, memories I have not thought about in a long time. I think @Bennie Jets maybe right. The brain must be searching through older memories in an attempt to avoid more recent ones that would trigger us. 

[BBB]

Irrationally is pretty much par for the course when losing one's soulmate

[jmmosley53]

Yeah I have feeling like that often.  I figure it is because I am being forced to reinvent myself now that I am not a couple.  The last time I had to reinvent myself was when I was a teen going to college away from home.

I really don't like the the feeling.  I have become so accustom to my life as Mrs.  I don't want to change.  I don't want to start over.  But it happens,  The 1st time I had to make a big purchase for the house I stood in the store forever.  I didn't know what my style was going to be. 

I'll be 68 this year too old to start over, not old enough to quit.

 

[Bennie Jets]

52 minutes ago, jmmosley53 said:

I'll be 68 this year too old to start over, not old enough to quit.

 

This may not help but I wanted to share a story I heard on the radio one day, long ago, actually.

It was this man who was in his late seventies and he moved to a retirement home - I think he still had a small appartment to himself but in a retirement community - and he met the love of his life there. It was another elderly man and they got married and he said he was so incredibly happy together with him. I don't know how it ended, if they are still alive, or if one of them lived much longer than the other or what. I just remember his story and that there are so many possiblities in life, way beyond what we expect as teenagers and way beyond what television will have us see again and again as if it was the only way people live.