Do you all think irrationally?

[BBB]

Specifically I think to myself, our relationship was so strong that my wife will come back. This will be the miracle that has never happened before but because our love was so strong, this will be the exception. I think really weird and irrational stuff like that. I've gone back to tons of places to find her that we used to frequent. Clearly, I am a long way from accepting her death.

 

[Sparky1]

I keep asking my wife to come back to me as well. It's the longing we have for our loss. My logical side knows that it won't happen, but my heart still wants it to. I still find it hard to believe that she's gone, and keep asking why over and over. I miss her more than anything.

[borbzgirl]

When I was 18, my father died from a road accident. This was my first real experience with death, and I bargained with the universe, God, a lot. I begged to go back in time, and that if it happened - I promise not to tell anyone about it. I knew it was impossible, but I tried. The pain was so intense & if God could see me suffering this much, and if it were true that anything is possible with him, maybe he'll make an exception for me. I was so young and so naive.

 

Now I am 35, and when my boyfriend was murdered last month, I already know better than to bargain. I just wallow in the hopelessness of it all. Because I know this is something I cannot change. This is the only reality we get.

 

So yes, I was irrational as I went through processing my dad's death, but I learned from that experience... It's so very sad that we have to learn these coping tools at all.

[jmmosley53]

BBB,

I can't say I ever thought I could look somewhere and find my beloved hiding somewhere or that he had amnesia and didn't know the way home or any other thing similar to those.  

During the first few months after his death I just couldn't believe that he was really gone.  I hoped it was a mistake.

After a while I realized it wasn't a mistake he was gone and not coming back.  This depressed me a lot.

Later still I began thinking if I had the power, would it be fair to him if I brought him back.  He would be alive but so sick he could only lay there struggling to breath.

I don't want that for him.  I have to believe his spirit is in heaven restored to his perfect self.  It is a cruel thing but, I would rather have him perfect and away than here and suffering.

[KayC]

14 hours ago, borbzgirl said:

It's so very sad that we have to learn these coping tools at all.

For sure.  I can't claim to know the mind of God, I know there were instances in the old testament where people implored God and He DID change his mind so to speak, at least they swayed Him, but I was praying when George died and we know how that turned out.  I don't hold it against God, I can't claim to understand, nor do I hold Him responsible, perhaps there is a fate worse than death that he was spared?  IDK, pure speculation.  I do know that I continue to love and miss him every day.  And I do believe God is with me as I go through this, sometimes it's our grief getting in the way of hearing Him, grief can have a way of obliterating everything else. 

For those who want instances, see here: https://www.blueletterbible.org/faq/don_stewart/don_stewart_357.cfm