Members borbzgirl Posted February 17, 2021 Members Report Posted February 17, 2021 I miss him so much. I have not responded to any greetings, not even to Valentines greetings which was days ago. I just want to forget the world, there is no meaning for any of this anymore. I listened to his voice to start my day with, last night I read our messages last year on this day... I hope I have enough strength to get through this day, it's so very painful.
Members Gail 8588 Posted February 17, 2021 Members Report Posted February 17, 2021 Borbzgirl, I totally get your not wanting to acknowledge your birthday. It is an event that has no meaning placed next to the monumental tragedy of his death. It really is like asking Mrs. Lincoln 'how did you like the play?' It is absurd to spend a moment focused on a birthday celebration. My children organized a little birthday party for me on my first birthday after my love's death and I remember it as almost an out of body experience. I could have been a cardboard cutout of myself at the gathering. It would have been better if they had just left me alone. But the boys were trying to make me feel better. What could I do but zombie through it? Hugs Gail
Members jmmosley53 Posted February 17, 2021 Members Report Posted February 17, 2021 Hello borbzgirl, I won't wish you Happy Birthday because I know you aren't happy. Milestones now seem to be reminders that our beloved has been gone for (x) number of weeks/months/years. I don't really understand why it is so important for me to do a time line since his death but everything is measured from that date. Like it has been 10 months and 14 days since Rick died. I didn't used to keep track of anything that way before.
Members ScotJ65 Posted February 17, 2021 Members Report Posted February 17, 2021 borbzgirl, I don't know your beliefs in God and / or the afterlife but I have to tell you mines are very strong. I can sense my angel by my side every day, even though I can't see or hear her. Of course, this is all personal to me, and in no way would I try to push my beliefs on anyone. But they do give me a huge amount of strength and comfort. I simply cannot, and will not accept that this cruel, unjust and at times despicable world is all that's mapped out for us. I believe you will get through this, and one day be reunited with the love of your life. I hope this brings you some comfort on your birthday. God bless and take good care of yourself. Hugs.
Moderators KayC Posted February 17, 2021 Moderators Report Posted February 17, 2021 12 hours ago, borbzgirl said: I miss him so much. I have not responded to any greetings, not even to Valentines greetings which was days ago. I just want to forget the world, there is no meaning for any of this anymore. I listened to his voice to start my day with, last night I read our messages last year on this day... I hope I have enough strength to get through this day, it's so very painful. My heart broke for you when I read this...we'd all love to wish you a happy birthday...yet we know how happy it is. Just know that we care and send good thoughts your way, hoping some will land. I wish I had George's voice somewhere but alas the phone recorded over it and his cellphone is long gone (nearly 16 years now)...but it is clear as a bell in my memory. I remember the first time I ever heard his voice, it was when he first called me, I loved it! Some memories stick with us. Hopefully someday the good ones will stick better than the bad ones of that day. I know we never forget them.
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.