Routine things are challenging when also grieving

[Diane R. E.]

I don't doubt we've all realized that during our grief and the brain fog that goes with it, the most routine tasks can seem insurmountable. I've been struggling as I deal with two stressors, but think I am making headway. First is navigating through the process of preparing to go on Medicare come May 1st. I have good health insurance through my retirement plan that also works with Medicare, but the information wasn't making sense to me and I was so frustrated. It really is pretty straightforward, but I had to read it MANY times for it to click. The second stressor was preparing to file our tax return. I'm using a professional tax preparer, but had to fill out a packet of information. Much of it is over my head, but it really shouldn't be - it's just so hard to focus. It's a little more complicated for 2020 since we lived in two different states and my husband passed away. Doug's source of income for 2020 was social security, so I need his benefit statement but haven't been able to get through to the Social Security Administration on how to get the statement. Has anyone had experience with that? I'm just venting here - these stressors are getting to me! 

[LMR]

I feel for you. I haven't started doing the taxes. I usually did them myself but I am worried about messing up this year. However the only time I went to a tax filing company in 26 years of filing here they screwed it up and I had to fix later.

SS has already sent me our statements, its usually automatic. You may want to check it isn't sitting at an old address.

[Sparky1]

For me it's been painful when I received my wife's tax statements in the mail. They have her name first, and then to the Estate of her name.

[jmmosley53]

Diane,

I know just what you are feeling,  wading through all the information about SSI isn't easy because it is so darn boring it is hard to keep interested. There are a lot of sites on the internet that will do the comparisons for you to help decide which insurance company you want to go with for your supplemental insurance.  This service should always be free. SSI has a tool for comparisons also.

Tax was terrible for me.  In past years it was so simple we could do a 1040EZ online.  This year I tried a tax help company and I submitted my forms online.  They have already been rejected by the IRS.  I thought I typed in every  dollar amount correctly - I messed up the stimulus check (line 30 on the form) which I can correct now but the reject is something about my husband pin.  I don't know what they are talking about.  I hate stuff like this - I feel nervous about doing it.  I'm going to have to pay for help at one of the preparer companies now.

I think it is so hard because I don't want to do this kind of stuff.  I don't want to fill in lines on government form that say he died.  My focus is limited on things I like, this kind of thing I have to try and force myself to listen to advice.

Good luck with your papers.  I find I am at my best focus an hour before lunch.  

[KayC]

17 hours ago, Diane R. E. said:

haven't been able to get through to the Social Security Administration on how to get the statement.

The best time to reach them is when they open (7 am east coast time).  I have done my church's books for 6 1/2 years and doing their year end stuff stressed me out so bad, they didn't make it easy as it wouldn't let me in to my soc sec site to file the W2s & W3, I had this problem last year too but the pw wouldn't work this year and they were no help when I finally did reach someone.  The whole month of January was stressful because of the year end stuff and brought on the worst bout of thrush I've ever heard of, am still combating it!   I haven't even wanted to LOOK at my own tax stuff yet!  Trying to take a break until I get well.  They should give us to summer to file.  Winter is hard enough!