Members borbzgirl Posted January 30, 2021 Members Report Posted January 30, 2021 What happened to my boyfriend and the other 3 victims of the shooting incident was on national news & social media in my country. On the news, they showed a picture of him laying there in his blood face down with 2 other victims in the frame. I took a screenshot & saved that picture... I look at it all the time. I keep wishing I could have been there for him to experience that with him... I keep crying because of what happened to him. He was such a tender soul... He deserved so much. Somebody took his life like as if it was irrelevant, they didn't know what a good man he was... We had so many plans for the future, he was just 35. I google him all the time now, to catch glimpses of the crime scene & try to imagine what he went through when it was happening. I over-analyze everything, including his bullet wounds. He only had 2, one in his back and the other on his right buttocks, I believe he could have lived if people helped immediately... But they called the police first before moving anything. I believe he could have lived. Has anyone gone through this same ordeal? Has anybody had their loved one murdered? How do you heal from it? It's so hard for me right now, I don't know what to do with myself. This experience is quite different from when my dad died from a road accident... There are details before they were shot that haunts me, I want to know what happened, but I will never find out. Was he scared? Did he know they were going to be shot? The police say they had their hands up, so most likely guns were already pointed at them... 8 unidentified suspects gunned them down, there was no way they could have gotten away from 8 men with guns. The main target (the owner of the shop they were in & where my boyfriend worked) had so many bullets in his face, the other 3 victims (including my boyfriend) were shot from the back. This is my only relief, that he was not shot in in the head or face or while he was watching them do it. At least, he had his back turned... But, these details don't help. He still died...he still experienced that nightmare. What could he have been thinking during those final moments? I feel so badly for him.... I am in so much pain thinking about what happened to him, and what he experienced right before the shots were fired. There were CCTVs in the shop but police say the main hard drive was missing, so nobody will ever know what happened...
Members jmmosley53 Posted January 30, 2021 Members Report Posted January 30, 2021 Hello Borbzgirl, I am sorry for your loss, it is a tragedy. I have no experience with murders so I can not offer word about that however, I too have tried to think through what my husband felt/thought during his death. I was not allowed in the hospital because of COVID so he was alone. I played through so many scenarios in my head - most of them horrible. I came to the realization that I was torturing myself. I will never know until we are together again in the afterlife. I imagine that for a while you will continue to try and figure it out. It is a natural thing to do. But I hope that some day soon you will be able to set those thoughts aside. Not forget, just set it aside so as not to torture yourself. Being in constant tears is very exhausting and you already have so much to deal with.
Members Rashell Posted January 31, 2021 Members Report Posted January 31, 2021 Oh wow, this is way too relevant for me. My partner was murdered almost a month ago, 2 guys had tried to rob him and it went bad. However, I haven’t been able to look at anything. I can’t watch the news because it’s all over. I showed up about 15 minutes after it happened, I saw his car crashed, I saw them put a tarp over his body, I have awful flashbacks. Everything that happened there replays over and over in my head. The cops yelling at me, me screaming at the cops to tell me if he was dead, if it was really him (I was in shock), random people trying to console me after my knees gave out and I was screaming on the ground, calling my mom to pick me up and not being able to explain what happened, I just kept repeating “I think something is really wrong.” I haven’t even asked where on his body he was shot, but I think I know. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to imagine how it happened. We were watching a movie, he had gone to the store, and he never came back. I think about anything that would’ve changed it- what if I had gone with him, what if I had texted him and he had looked down at his phone and threw the whole event off by a second and the bullet missed, I wish I could’ve been there for him. Instead, I showed up 15 minutes too late. I knew he was taking too long, I kept checking his location wondering what he was doing, and when I heard the sirens I knew something was wrong. My partner was and still is a wonderful person with a beautiful caring soul. He would give anyone the shirt off his back if they needed it, but he always stood his ground. He wouldn't have gone down without a fight. I wish he would’ve just let them rob him, but that wouldn’t have been him. I don’t know why anyone would want to rob him- he helped ANYONE that needed it. He knew those people, and he knew they were bad people who have tried to rob him before. They followed him, ran his car off the road, and shot him. My father was also killed in a car accident when I was younger, and this is not even close to similar. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and unfortunately I have no advice to give, but you’re definitely not alone.
Moderators KayC Posted January 31, 2021 Moderators Report Posted January 31, 2021 21 hours ago, borbzgirl said: There were CCTVs in the shop but police say the main hard drive was missing, so nobody will ever know what happened... Did they have a backup? I know few who don't back up their computers, many to an external hard drive, but many others to the cloud. The police should look into that as it likely would provide clues. No, I have not gone through murder but can only imagine it's the worst, I truly feel for you. It was hard enough losing my partner too young, suddenly, unexpectedly, but I can only begin to imagine the senselessness you feel in all of this.
Members borbzgirl Posted February 1, 2021 Author Members Report Posted February 1, 2021 @Rashell - I honestly can't stop feeling like the world has crashed down on me... The last time we spoke was around 5:30 PM the day he died (he died later that night), I was calling him about something really random while I was out getting groceries (it was about paint) & I'm so glad I made that call, because I was able to say I love you & he was able to say he loved me too at the end of it, just out of habbit... This, no matter how little, gives me some relief... I said bye, but he didn't, and I wasn't sure whether he still had something to say or not but since I was at the store I just hung up... When I got home I realized he had messaged me asking if I was busy, which were sent before I made that call. I messaged him and said I didn't buy the silver paint coz it looked grey (the reason I had previously called), he read the message at around 8PM... Then he was already offline after that, I got irritated because he didn't reply and I messaged him around 10PM and 2AM, none of the messages got delivered. I kept messaging him at dawn, I didn't even know he had died... I found out later.... His phone never got recovered, and they say the other victims' phones weren't found either. This is probably the most challenging experience I have to go through in my life, it's like I don't have a choice but to endure it... It's so hard & takes all of me. I'm so lost & deeply deeply deeply sad... Every inch of me is in pain because of this.... I can't imagine ever being okay again. Thank you for sharing your story with me, it has made me feel like I'm not alone in this agony....
Members borbzgirl Posted February 1, 2021 Author Members Report Posted February 1, 2021 No, I don't think they have a backup of the CCTV footages... I think they were just saved in the hard drive. My boyfriend had mentioned that his boss (the shop owner) had been getting death threats (he never mentioned from who), this was around November. And I got scared that time because that's where he works and he's at the shop all the time, but he tried to make me feel better by saying that nobody would try anything at the shop because they have CCTV cameras everywhere. I guess that didn't scare anyone off, after all. 8 men went in and gunned them down. 8 men... A witness (caretaker) says he overheard an argument ensue (loud voices) then the gun shots. In that scene, none of them stood a chance against 8 armed men because they were vastly outnumbered. But what makes me feel uneasy is knowing that my boyfriend only got shot once at his upper-right back, and another in his right buttocks.... He had a chance to live. The others had bullets in the head, but not him... I believe he died from loss of blood, I am sure they didn't rush them to the hospital regardless of what they claim. I have feelings of resentment towards this, and I'm not sure who to direct them at. The police? The other people who were at the scene? I don't know, but I just resent it. Because I'm sure he would have lived if people helped right away.
Moderators KayC Posted February 2, 2021 Moderators Report Posted February 2, 2021 I am so sorry. I think that must be the hardest, knowing he might have been saved.
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.