Mum suddenly died of pneumonia

[Apower]

On december 23rd my dad called for my name just before 4 am and said I need to come quickly something is wrong with mum. I ran downstairs to find my mother dead in bed. I told him to call for an ambulance whilst I began cpr. My mum was 59 when she died. She had been to hospital twice in tye month leading to her death both times staying in hospital for at least 7 days at a time for problems with her kidneys. She had come home on december 16th and seemed the healthiest she had been in a long time, she was eating better than she had in a long time and was able to walk without her walking stick. So to find her dead in bed when she had no complaints of feeling unwell has come as a massive shock. An autopsy was done to find out cause of death which was pneumonia. My heart absolutely shattered when my mum died. Although I felt this pain straight away now it feels like I don't believe it even happened. To me I keep feeling like she is just still in hospital and that she isn't dead and I don't know whats wrong with me. Its like I have ro remind myself that she did die.

[Trikwuchi]

Apower, sorry for the sudden loss of your mum. It's so difficult when it's unexpected like that. 

I understand the feeling of disbelief. My mum passed 3 weeks ago (covid) and I'm still in a state of shock and disbelief about it. 

 

[Kelsi32]

I’m so sorry you had to find your mom like that. I know it’s traumatizing. I can’t get the image out of my head of my mom in the hospital right after she passed. I’m thankful she’s not in pain but it only slightly eases my pain from her loss. I think grief is different for everyone but we just have to try to do what’s normal until it actually feels normal again. My outlet is journaling and crying and talking about her. Take care of yourself 

[Monty]

APower,

I am so sorry for the loss of your Mum. I lost my Mum suddenly to a brain aneurysm 4 years ago. The sudden loss of my Mum left us all with things we wished we had said to her but didn’t. My Dad, siblings and I all wrote my Mum a letter to say goodbye to her. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to write but I found it really helped me.

It is normal to be in denial and feel like your loved one has not gone. My Dad passed away 3 months ago today. I miss him dearly. A few weeks after his passing my sister turned to me and said ‘Do you still feel like Dad is in the hospital?’ I didn’t but for her this is how it felt. She was in denial and still is I think. This is how we try and protect ourselves and deal with what we can when we can. Each grief journey is different.

Please know you are not alone. Give your Dad a big hug and share memories of your Mum together. Take care.