Mother Dreams

[Britney Russell]

So its been almost 7 months since i lost my mother. And it feels like yesterday. Dont really understand how she could be fine one day and then in the hospital the next. But this isnt what i want to talk about. Ive been havind dreams, not the best kind like my sister (will get to that in a sec). Most of them are when she was sick and was starting to loose brain cells, The baby talk, is what i call it. Not dream of the past, the good days, but of her final days. I cant seem to get past the images, the noises, the...... antsy-ness she had bc she was having fits. However, my sister gets the ones where she is conversating with our mom. She can actually feel her and even remember her smell. Im begining to wonder if i will ever get passed the bad dreams? I dont think i grieved the way i should. I manly did things to get my mind off of it, but when i moved back to my home, in Louisiana, where it was just me and my daughter, husband is deployed and my sister lives in africa bc her hubby is in marines, i guess it finally hit me....... HARD. i dont have the confidence that i need. Just my 2 yr old daughter whom just wipes my tears and tells me its okay, and my husband whom i never get to talk to bc of the deployment, and my sister, who works alot and hardly gets to call. Most of the time i take tylenol pm just to sleep bc i would be up, thinking like i am now but these days it doesnt even seem to help.Hopes this gets easier for me!

[dizzydancingway]

When my mom first died, I had terrible dreams about her. Ones where she came back to life and I had to explain to her that I donated all her clothes. Or ones where I was searching and searching for my mom.

A few weeks ago I had a dream that I was asking my mom what to do about my dad and brother (they have begun to rely on me heavily since my mom's death...more so than I feel capable of handling) and my mom told me to ignore them, to take care of myself. I had another dream where my mom was helping me shop for gifts for my two nephews.

Personally, I feel that my dreams involving my mom all relate to how I am dealing with and working out her death. I would guess your dreams are disturbing because you still have not processed/come to terms with/ accepted your loss, and as you start to face the pain more, face the loss, and work through how its impacted your life, you will start to have much more uplifting dreams. Its not easy to deal with how a mother's death impacts us psychologically...its a lot to adjust to, the pain and the changes that ensue.

I read a book called Motherless Daughters when my mom first passed away and that really helped me realize how difficult a mother loss is for a woman.

check it out

Maybe this will help you as well. Coming here is great, talking about the pain is great...those things will all help you heal.