Why do I need to have questions?

[MikSRK]

Hi, I lost my Dad just after Christmas. He was a recovering alcoholic, who just stopped recovering. He’d been distant with me for a year prior (a mix of him not contacting me back and me living on the other side of the world). I had to quit my job and move home. I’ve been stuck in quarantine for a week now. He had no will so now I’m taking that over. I’m just so tired all the time. I want to talk to people but it’s exhausting. And everyone keeps telling me who to talk to if I have questions. Talk to her to learn about alcoholism. Talk to the coroner to learn about his death. Talk to this person to learn about this. You must have so many questions. But I don’t. I just don’t. I feel bad that I don’t have questions. I’m sad, I know he loved me, I miss him, he was an alcoholic, he tried his best but the bottle was stronger. Why do I need to know more? What am I not understanding? Does having questions change anything? All I know is that I barely have time to figure out all of this paperwork cause we can’t afford a lawyer. How will talking to these people with these non existent questions make anything different? It’s just very confusing and overwhelming when they keep telling me who to talk to with these supposed questions. So I just smile and nod.

[tessa]

Hi MikSRK,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
People tell you to talk to this person, that person and every body because either they don't know what else to say or that is what they would do if they were in your situation.
But this doesn't mean it's the right advice for you. If you don't have any questions, then it is better to get some sleep than to talk about non-existent questions.
When my mother died, a friend told me to do charity work. But I didn't want to do charity work. Charity work will not bring back my mother.
She told me to do charity work cuz that was her thing. She wanted to do charity work. But what does that have to do with my mother dying.
They mean no harm. Just do as you do, just smile and nod and let whatever they said blow into the wind.
Soemtimes, humans are annoying

[MikSRK]

Thanks tessa,

I’m sorry to hear of your loss. I really appreciate your advice. I guess I just feel so blinded searching for the questions people want me to ask that I didn’t realize that it’s okay not to have questions. It was really helpful to finally get this off my chest. I’ll just let them ask their questions and muddle my own way through ☺️.