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Older brother


beth9206

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I lost my older brother Mark 6/27/04.He was only 32 years old and he passed away in his sleep of sleep apnea.Not a day goes by that I don't think about him.And to make it worse I am now also grieving the loss of my Dad,who passed away 3 days ago.I know they are both in a better place but it still hurts.I would like to talk to others who have also lost a brother or sister.Sometimes I feel I am the only one who has.

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I lost my older brother Mark 6/27/04.He was only 32 years old and he passed away in his sleep of sleep apnea.Not a day goes by that I don't think about him.And to make it worse I am now also grieving the loss of my Dad,who passed away 3 days ago.I know they are both in a better place but it still hurts.I would like to talk to others who have also lost a brother or sister.Sometimes I feel I am the only one who has.

Beth,

I am sorry about the loss of your brother and your father. I hope you are doing okay and are not going through this by yourself. I lost my brother, and I've lost my father. I can relate to how you are feeling. I was 14 when my brother was killed in a car wreck. It was devastating for my family. He was only 21. My father was never the same. When my father passed away, a comforting thought for all of us was that he was now with my brother. Feel free to share your thoughts here. We will be here for you.

ModKonnie

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Beth,

I am sorry about the loss of your brother and your father. I hope you are doing okay and are not going through this by yourself. I lost my brother, and I've lost my father. I can relate to how you are feeling. I was 14 when my brother was killed in a car wreck. It was devastating for my family. He was only 21. My father was never the same. When my father passed away, a comforting thought for all of us was that he was now with my brother. Feel free to share your thoughts here. We will be here for you.

ModKonnie

I have had my wonderful husband by my side since I lost my Daddy 4 days ago.He has lost sleep to hold me while I cried,and he took off 3 days from work because he didn't want to leave me by myself.He went back to work today and he said he felt guilty doing so but I did OK.

It does give me some comfort knowing that Dad is now with my brother but it still hurts not having them here with us.My Dad never really talked about my brother after he died,nor did I ever see him cry,but I know he mourned for him in his own way.I keep telling my Mom that now Mark is the lucky one because he has Dad and we had him for 71 years and now it's his turn to have him again :)

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I have had my wonderful husband by my side since I lost my Daddy 4 days ago.He has lost sleep to hold me while I cried,and he took off 3 days from work because he didn't want to leave me by myself.He went back to work today and he said he felt guilty doing so but I did OK.

It does give me some comfort knowing that Dad is now with my brother but it still hurts not having them here with us.My Dad never really talked about my brother after he died,nor did I ever see him cry,but I know he mourned for him in his own way.I keep telling my Mom that now Mark is the lucky one because he has Dad and we had him for 71 years and now it's his turn to have him again :)

That's exactly what we said about our dad. We had him for almost 79 years. Now Dennis gets him all to himself for a few years. They can catch up. :) It helps to have faith, doesn't it?

ModKonnie

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That's exactly what we said about our dad. We had him for almost 79 years. Now Dennis gets him all to himself for a few years. They can catch up. :) It helps to have faith, doesn't it?

ModKonnie

I was raised Catholic and went to church every Sunday growing up.When I turned 18,I stopped going except on holidays and special events.I have been thinking of going back weekly but so far haven't.

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Beth....I lost my brother...he was very close to me. I depended on him, so much, he was the most important person in my life at the time of his death. He drowned right infront of me...becuase I thought he was joking when I saw him floating in a kids pool...I still can't forgive myself. This happened ten years ago August 25th. I am grieving more right now than I have been for probably the last 5 years. The first 5 years where the hardest. Noone can no exactly how we feel but we can relate. I'm very thank ful for this site, were we can share our stories. ...and hopefully find some healing.

Cathy

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Beth/ModKonnie/Cathy,

We're definitely not alone. My brother, Eddie, passed away about 6 years ago from a combination of ulcerative colitis and budd-chiari syndrome. He was only 28 years old and I was 25 at the time. He was the closest person to me and my mentor. I still think about him every day as well and it still hurts some, but I know this experience has also made me a stronger person, whom I know Eddie would want me to be. To top it off, my dad passed last year.

It has definitely been a tough few years, but it's been really helpful being able to talk about it. The worst thing any of us can do during this time is bottle up all our thoughts and emotions.

I started an online memorial community called Warm Tribute in the name of my brother. If any of you are up for it, please create a free online memorial for your loved one. It allows your family and friends to post your thoughts, memories, and photos about them so that your loved ones can continue to exist in multiple forms.

Warm regards,

Fleming

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I was raised Catholic and went to church every Sunday growing up.When I turned 18,I stopped going except on holidays and special events.I have been thinking of going back weekly but so far haven't.

Faith and spirituality play a huge role in healing and moving forward. You may want to consider going back to church, where you can form a support system grounded in solid beliefs and love.

ModKonnie

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gettingstronger07

Beth, you definately are not alone. I lost my older brother in a car accidents almost 4 years ago.December 1st,2007 was the worst date of my life.He was my favorite brother and I always looked up to him and when he died I felt I had no one to look up to. I still struggle quite a bit.The pain in unbearable and i cry for him because i miss him so much and want him to be here with me. He would probably just tell me to suck it up and get on with it but its not so easy I know.I remember I followed him around everywhere as a child and then we went opposite ways when we got older.We actually had a fight and did not get to reconcile face to face before he was killed,which left tremendous guilt on me. Daniel was a very forgiving boy always so I'm sure he forgave me. Most days I seem to be alright and then it will hit me out of the blue where i just get a waterworks show going.He had a 3 month old son when he was killed,which I have attatched a photo of.Landon looks identical to his father and is like him in every way i could possibly think of.I think all kinds of thoughts..i wonder if it were me in his place if he would be having an easier time coping.He always was the strong one.Again its an answer I will never know.I have a journal that i write letter to him in that seems to be somewhat helpful.But i know exactly what you are feeling and all we can do is pray for one another. My thing is that i am having a really hard time letting his spirit go. So my thoughts and prayers are definately with you.

Blessings,

Joyce

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I lost my older brother Mark 6/27/04.He was only 32 years old and he passed away in his sleep of sleep apnea.Not a day goes by that I don't think about him.And to make it worse I am now also grieving the loss of my Dad,who passed away 3 days ago.I know they are both in a better place but it still hurts.I would like to talk to others who have also lost a brother or sister.Sometimes I feel I am the only one who has.

Hi Beth - I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm brand new to this site and your post caught my eye because I lost my brother, also named Mark, just 3 months ago - in December. My dad died in 1996, so I've been through that loss as well. I know it feels like you're the only one. But, having lost both my parents and now my brother, I can tell you you're far from alone. The other thing I've found is that grief is intensely personal - no 2 people grieve the same way. And, I'd guess that the grief you feel for your dad might be different than the grief you feel for your brother. I know mine is. My brother and I were very close. He was only a year older than me but aside from being my big brother, he was also one of my best friends. I think about him every day, too. The first days were literally mind-numbing; I couldn't even process the idea that I'd never hear his voice/talk to him again. That just seemed impossible - some days it still doesn't seem possible. I've even called his cell phone - which hasn't yet been disconnected - just to hear his voice one more time. Silly, but it makes me feel better :) So, I just wanted to extend my sympathies to you - for both your dad and your brother Mark. BTW - my middle name is Beth - not Elizabeth, just Beth :)

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