Members BBB Posted January 11, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 Sorry that I ask so many questions here but I feel like the people here are the ONLY ones who can truly understand how I feel. Going through similar losses allows us all to "get it". No matter who it is, friend or family, as much as they care about us and love us, they can't really get it. Do you all ever feel like this is something that happens to someone else? It couldn't happen to me? I never ever ever thought this would happen to me. I still find myself in total disbelief a 1/2 year later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted January 11, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 Yes. As I've said earlier, there is a part of me that will never accept this. It's too insane. Life is surreal to me now. Even last year with the riots, covid etc I more or less took in stride. I guess I feel like sure why not we're this far down the rabbit hole. If aliens landed in my back yard I think I'd go "oh that's nice, whatever." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BBB Posted January 11, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 Yes, I know what you mean. I fee like that too. In addition, I have so many times where I can't think of things, I can't remember things, I repeat myself as I've forgotten what I've said. My therapist tells me that my brain is feverishly trying to make sense of it and I'm on brain overload. Thus, I forget things, cant remember stuff, etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members frenchygirl Posted January 11, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 It's almost like there are two "me's"; the me before and the me-after. Trying to find a balance between them is so difficult.I don't know that there is a balance. My counselor has said it best "someone has amputated part of your arm without meds, they took part of it with them, but you still have the pain." Yes. That's exactly what it feels like...surreal... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BBB Posted January 11, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 Yes that's a good analogy. I've heard several good analogies. At the end of the day, what I know is that this really SUCKS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 11, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 5 hours ago, widower2 said: If aliens landed in my back yard I think I'd go "oh that's nice, whatever." If aliens landed in the backyard it'd be easier to accept. 5 hours ago, frenchygirl said: It's almost like there are two "me's"; the me before and the me-after. Yep, because we ARE totally different "after" and so are our lives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted January 11, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2021 The feeling is like you just got hit by a dump truck and your life got sucked out of you. I tell my sister in law that my wife has my heart because it feels like I have a huge hole in my chest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members steveb Posted January 12, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 10 hours ago, BBB said: Do you all ever feel like this is something that happens to someone else? It couldn't happen to me? I never ever ever thought this would happen to me. I still find myself in total disbelief a 1/2 year later Totally agree BBB. You hit the nail on the head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted January 12, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 12 hours ago, BBB said: Do you all ever feel like this is something that happens to someone else? It couldn't happen to me? I never ever ever thought this would happen to me. I have that same feeling, over and over. It's like I'm having a nightmare and want to wake up and for everything to be alright. If my wife walked in the door right now, I would accept it as though as if nothing happened. It's so unreal, that's how I feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 12, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 We talked about it briefly but it was something abstract, we could not possibly know what it'd be like to lose the other...until I went through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BBB Posted January 12, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 Damn this really sucks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nmark Posted January 12, 2021 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 I so relate to all of you. Losing someone suddenly at a relatively young age of 50 left me with no one but you all that gets what I’m going through. I think grief and loss is unique and different for everyone but if you haven’t suffered the loss of a partner there is absolutely no way to wrap your head around how life changing and debilitating it is. I am thankful to have this forum. Especially during this pandemic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 12, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted January 12, 2021 @Nmark I'm glad you're here, it was a place such as this that saved me when I went through it 15+ years ago! None of my family could relate until one of my siblings lost her husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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