New Year

[Yoli]

Part of me will be glad to see the end of 2020 but there is also another part of me that is petrified of leaving it. 2021 means leaving behind the last year in which I could touch, talk to and be with Indy. I feel as if this is another loss in some way.

Anyone feel similar?

[Zee24]

I think with most problems or losses, financial hardship, losing a job, failure you can just be glad that its behind you and hope that it doesnt happen again. Like a bad memory i guess. This change, the change bought about by loss, bereavement is permanent. So we arent going to leave it behind. I am sorry though of thinking of last year’s new year and all the hopes it had, modest hopes but hopes nonetheless, like we all do, and how far away those feelings and thoughts are now.   That life feels like it belonged to someone else. 

[Sparky1]

2020 was a brutal year for many of us. Those of us that lost a loved one will always remember 2020. The new year to me will just be a continuation of the heartache of losing my wife. To me there is no celebration and definitely no new beginnings.

[Meloncholy]

2020 was a brutal year for many of us. Those of us that lost a loved one will always remember 2020. The new year to me will just be a continuation of the heartache of losing my wife. To me there is no celebration and definitely no new beginnings.

No there is no anticipation of a new year or new beginnings...2021 will mark a new direction we didn’t choose or imagine but hopefully with lots of prayers we can continue to live each day the best we can. It may not be pretty but it’s all we can do.


Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com

[jmmosley53]

As rotten as 2020 has been to so many people I too feel a reluctance to leave 2020 behind.  It is the most terrible year I have ever experienced.   But like Yoli said in the original post:

" 2021 means leaving behind the last year in which I could touch, talk to and be with Indy. I feel as if this is another loss in some way."

I am conflicted, the world is moving forward without Richard in it, and I resent that.  I don't really know why I should expect everyone to wait until I catch up.  I don't think I'll be moving on mentally very soon.

[Heartlight]

Hi Yoli,

With every loss I had, everything new was a very sad milestone... the people who I love the most were never going to see this or know that.  Even major achievements were sad, never truly something to celebrate, but just added to my grief a little.

This never stopped.  Even though it's been since 2009.  It just comes up less frequently.  Eventually, it gets easier to not be thrown off the tracks when the sadness comes.  I have found that to make a space for it, to have an acknowleging moment or ceremony, has helped me be understanding of the sadness that competes with celebration or new things in my life.

<3

[KayC]

10 hours ago, Yoli said:

Part of me will be glad to see the end of 2020 but there is also another part of me that is petrified of leaving it. 2021 means leaving behind the last year in which I could touch, talk to and be with Indy. I feel as if this is another loss in some way.

You are so right.   And that's exactly how I felt New Year's 2006, it hit me hard that would be a year in which George never lived. 

 

1 hour ago, jmmosley53 said:

I am conflicted, the world is moving forward without Richard in it, and I resent that.

I understand and I felt the same way.  The truth is "the world" does move forward, but we don't.  For us their death totally changed us and our world.  I did not understand how the sun could go on shining without him in it.