My son Titaha

[Remembering Titaha]

Hi everyone. I'm new here. 6 months ago we lost our beautiful baby boy. His name was Titaha and he was born with multiple congenital heart defects. He spent most of his life in hospital where he underwent open heart surgeries and other invasive procedures. Throughout his short life, we made sure he kept smiling. Any time they prickled his foot to take blood tests, one of us was there to hold him and tell him we love him.

 

Unfortunately the hospital stuffed up which resulted in his death. I'm trying hard not to hold hatred in my heart, but I can't help feel a constant disappointment with the NZ health system. 

 

He was a happy little man and although I have had a lot of death in my life, nothing compares to losing my beautiful child. I miss him so much and I'd do anything just to hold him one last time.

 

Here's a couple of poems that I wrote for him:


High above the jasper riddled river rock
In a rainbow of time that flows
outside the realm within the clock we know

Remembering the time we spent
Which was the best and wished for more
Of how you were before you went
But every day the sun comes up
We think of you and all it meant
We remember when the sun goes down
And then tomorrow we will still be round
To do it all again

Long after time has passed the wise goal to fill the holes remain
Your soul still flys to please where we feel the missing pieces
Time forgets to heal our pain and the hurting never eases

We will always feel you in our hearts from where your missing soul has disappeared
But now your free to come and go
There's something you may never know

The love we share for you that's here
Is true and real so please take care
We know somehow we're still with you
When nature shows that you are there

In every living breathing thing
Your song is linked to everything
We love the magic tune you sing
Embracing you under our wing

We've set you free as a bird
So you can sing and still be heard
Listening to your hearts songs
Will make us smile while we must carry on

Please don't feel like it's wrong
For you to sing along in style
With magic music sky birds that heard
The song you sing and is why
We understand everything it brings
So we will look for you in the sky above
And when a bird flies by
We will send you all our love

Your wise words meant for our ears
And flowers grow to show our eyes
A sense of pride we'll hold for years
That was your story getting told
And never disappears and won't get old
Long after you died

Notes from deep inside your heart and mind
From today's song that's without words
Is shared each day by happy birds
And does so in Titahas way

From ancient past times that have been
And some that were never seen
You carry on in our hearts and stay
With us through our song too
You will always be a part of us
And we're a part of you

Overhead and underground
The music's beat is at rest instead
We can feel the sound of natures worth
Underneath the pounding earth
Enhancing meaning to your birth

Anywhere and everywhere
We go we feel your there
At our home up on the hill and on the street
We feel your bass from way down low
Everyone we meet in town
Also thinks you were pretty neet you know

May your youthful soul live on through
Everyone who hears the songs you sing outloud
So others too can sing each season
Honourng your life which is the reason
We are very proud of you

Not knowing how or why
Your time in hospital care
Was cut short and you were far too young to die
Which leaves a scar because
You didn't get the chance to share what was
Well above the bar that sets a higher standard
Filling us with love whenever we are feeling stranded

Inside your heart from the start
You showed us who you are
before we had to part our ways
Through your big round eyes we got to see
Who you were meant to be
But now we can't hold you these days
We have to connect in other ways

The things you would have said from where
The opinions in your head were clear
Now you live on in us and stay
Which makes sure you know we care
And in some way even though
you are not here we hope you know we're never really far away

To sing along with you and all
The plants and birds and other things
Fast or slow, big or small some how
We'll stay together through natural things
Weather that's just for now or forever
We'll have to see what the future brings

Playing your tunes is what we do now
I believe it's true but don't know how
It won't be long and maybe
In a special kind of way
We will see you soon we love you to the moon and back my baby
Each and every day

Here's the other poem I wrote for him:

Like an angle that fell down from above

Or an injured bird with a broken wing

A gentle kind little man

With a soul full of love

He never asked for anything

Or caused any kind of fuss

He was only small but loved us all

So keep in mind if you can

Maybe he knew for us

If our baby flew high up into the sky

He can live on through his song

It's true we had to say goodbye

We don't know why but he'll never be too far away

Forever he will stay in our hearts

Our clever man who had to go

But we won't really be apart

Because although he may be in the sky

His smile will never die


I love you Titaha 

[Remembering Titaha]

[MODArtemis2019]

Beautiful child. I'm so sorry for your loss. He was well loved during his short time here.