Losing your better half ! After 8 years of relationship

[Kausalya Vijay murugan]

Hey all ,

I just wanted to express my grief to a set of people who really do understand and have experienced! It really is a hell for me it’s just been 28 days since I lost the love of my life! My life is doomed , completely clueless  ! He accidentally drowned in a river while hanging out with his cousins! Though he knew swimming he couldn’t make it , within minutes everything collapsed, we were in relationship for 8 long year it definitely was most beautiful part of my life ! We had so many plans for our future , soon were planning to go for masters and get married but one evening just randomly received a call saying he’s no more ! Since then everything has changed, that was the first time I did attend a funeral and it was of my own guys ! I felt bad for myself ! I badly wanna go back to him but I’m just worried about my parents and I don’t want them to suffer after seeing how my uncle aunty are suffering! It definitely is an unbearable loss to three of us , our life’s are never gonna be the same ! Our smiles are never gonna be meaningful! Our life has got no purpose. I really miss my guy , I never knew my life would end before it had even started ! I really wish I went along with him 

[Diane R. E.]

Your loss is so new, and I know the pain of grief is completely overwhelming. Take one day at a time right now - contemplating a future without your partner is impossible so soon after your loss. But in time, I can't say how long it will take, but you WILL find a purpose for your life. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. (It's been 2 and a half months for me since losing my husband.) 

[Missy1]

We ready do understand like no others can, the loss is so deep, it touches everything in your everyday life. I pretend to be okay and put up a front, but I am not ok. People seem to want to imagine that we are are “coming along” it makes them feel better. In reality we are screaming in pain and twisting in anxiety. 

My sanity comes from knowing that there are people who are understand and feel very much the same.

We are part of a whole group of people who are equally devastated and broken. I feel like sharing our pain and experience helps, we can relate and never judge each other.
I so sorry for your loss, it’s will be a rough road, this is a very special place, people care, they are kind and open. 

[Kausalya Vijay murugan]

19 hours ago, Diane R. E. said:

Your loss is so new, and I know the pain of grief is completely overwhelming. Take one day at a time right now - contemplating a future without your partner is impossible so soon after your loss. But in time, I can't say how long it will take, but you WILL find a purpose for your life. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. (It's been 2 and a half months for me since losing my husband.) 

 

12 hours ago, Missy1 said:

We ready do understand like no others can, the loss is so deep, it touches everything in your everyday life. I pretend to be okay and put up a front, but I am not ok. People seem to want to imagine that we are are “coming along” it makes them feel better. In reality we are screaming in pain and twisting in anxiety. 

My sanity comes from knowing that there are people who are understand and feel very much the same.

We are part of a whole group of people who are equally devastated and broken. I feel like sharing our pain and experience helps, we can relate and never judge each other.
I so sorry for your loss, it’s will be a rough road, this is a very special place, people care, they are kind and open. 

I just wish the world ends soon this is killing me every minute! No body should face this situation 

[LoveNeverDies]

Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.

Jamie Anderson

[LoveNeverDies]

Don’t look at the future , take one minute, hour and day at a time. It’s agonizing to lose someone who was a huge part of your life. Try to take care of yourself and please come back here and talk to us, we’re all going through this together. 

[LMR]

Quote

Grief is just love with no place to go.

Well put. A beautiful sentiment.

[KayC]

You've gotten some very sound advice & encouragement here...this is a long process and it changes our lives forever, but it does not stay in this intensity, we do eventually begin to adjust to the changes it means for our lives.

I posted my article (tips) on your first post, not sure if you were able to absorb it then as you are so fresh into your journey, but I hope you save it because this really is a journey that evolves, what is helpful later on may not be the same as right now.  The thing that was most helpful to me in the beginning was taking one day at a time.  Also I ran across a refrigerator magnet (day 11) and bought it, it said, "Find Joy in every day!"  I started the practice of looking over my day and trying to find something good in it...that led to me LOOKING for joy, always grasping and appreciating it.  Nothing was too small or insignificant to count or qualify.  It might be a stranger smiling at you, a puppy's kiss, someone letting you merge in traffic, any kindness!  I had to learn to appreciate the small joys now that the big ones, my George, was gone.  It led to changing me, and helping me to live in the present moment.  I try to stay in today.  And I know my George would be proud of me.

[Kausalya Vijay murugan]

Thank you everyone for your kind and wise words it’s a rough road ahead I just hope I don’t lose myself in this journey 

17 hours ago, KayC said:

You've gotten some very sound advice & encouragement here...this is a long process and it changes our lives forever, but it does not stay in this intensity, we do eventually begin to adjust to the changes it means for our lives.

I posted my article (tips) on your first post, not sure if you were able to absorb it then as you are so fresh into your journey, but I hope you save it because this really is a journey that evolves, what is helpful later on may not be the same as right now.  The thing that was most helpful to me in the beginning was taking one day at a time.  Also I ran across a refrigerator magnet (day 11) and bought it, it said, "Find Joy in every day!"  I started the practice of looking over my day and trying to find something good in it...that led to me LOOKING for joy, always grasping and appreciating it.  Nothing was too small or insignificant to count or qualify.  It might be a stranger smiling at you, a puppy's kiss, someone letting you merge in traffic, any kindness!  I had to learn to appreciate the small joys now that the big ones, my George, was gone.  It led to changing me, and helping me to live in the present moment.  I try to stay in today.  And I know my George would be proud of me.

 

17 hours ago, LMR said:

Well put. A beautiful sentiment.

 

17 hours ago, LoveNeverDies said:

Don’t look at the future , take one minute, hour and day at a time. It’s agonizing to lose someone who was a huge part of your life. Try to take care of yourself and please come back here and talk to us, we’re all going through this together. 

 

17 hours ago, LoveNeverDies said:

Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.

Jamie Anderson