Lost my mom a couple months ago

[kictoria]

Hi, I don't exactly know where to begin because it's very difficult for me to properly come to terms with these emotions. 
I lost my mom in April of this year, I'm young so honestly I didn't see this coming for awhile until one day it just happened and she was gone. All my life its been her, my brother and I. Her health slowly became a main priority for my brother and I, and we became her main caregivers. 

With the holidays right here, I wanted to reach out to some people who are going through the same motions as I am because frankly I feel very lost and confused. I'm on 23, I've dealt with the loss of my dad, my grandma, and a best friend but nothing has ever hit me as hard as the death of my mom.

I just wanted to know if anyone had any coping mechanisms, or possible ways to make the pain somehow turn into happiness. I want to appreciate the moments I spent with her in her last days, and lately even the smallest talk of her sends me into a spiral and makes me an emotional wreck. I'd very much appreciate any kind words, thank you all.

[Monty]

Hi Kictoria,

I’m so sorry that you have experienced such losses at such a young age. 

I think this time of year is very hard for all of us when grieving a lost loved one. The festive season is suppose to be cheerful and merry when inside we are broken. Very understandable that you feel lost and confused. I feel like I am all alone and lost out at sea in a rusty old row boat with no oar. Just bobbing along. 

All I can say is be kind to yourself. Feel however you need to feel. Do things for yourself that help you process your thoughts whether it be writing in a journal, taking walks, speaking with a friend or counsellor or something else that works for you. 
 

Hugs to you. Please remember you are not alone. We are here on this forum for you. 

[reader]

Dear Kictoria,

I'm so sorry for all the pain and sorrow you are feeling. It is devastating to experience so much loss at a young age. Losing a beloved parent is one of the hardest moments in life.

For myself, it's been four years and I still struggle with the holidays. I will take a Christmas wreath to my dad's gravesite. It's the one ritual I have. I want to include this link that has some suggestions as well:

https://whatsyourgrief.com/64-tips-grief-at-the-holidays/

Another website Grief in Common is offering some additional supports through Zoom gatherings.

I hope you'll find a little comfort and peace. Thinking of you and your brother. (((hugs)))

[BEQUET93]

The loss of a mother is a very painful thing. I loved my grandma dearly and, after her death, I went through some dark times, but my mother's passing has been especially painful. I always knew I loved her and that she was important to me, but I didn't fully realize exactly how much I loved her and how important she was to me, until she was gone.

You have experienced a great deal of loss, for a young person. I am sorry for that. Honestly, my main coping mechanism has been this forum and writing long emails to my friends. When I come to the forum, I can try to help others and am reminded that I am not the only person who is struggling with loss. I have also been painting portraits of my mother. I want to do an entire series.

My best to you and your brother.