Now I need an anger management counselor

[SharedLife]

I've been waffling about whether or not to seek grief counseling, and I finally decided to do so last week.  I asked my doctor to provide a referral and he gave me the phone number of a group of counselors.  I've phoned three times in the past week and each time there's no answer (just a looped recording saying someone will answer).  So I went to my insurer's website to try to find someone who's covered by my insurance.  It's a very frustrating experience. Whomever designed their website is obviously someone with a cruel sense of humor. Having had mixed experiences with counselors in the past, I thing I'm going to forget the idea of trying to see one and spend some more time looking for information online.  If you have seen a counselor or attended group sessions, did you find it a great help? Helped a little bit?  Helped not much at all? Fuhgeddaboudit?

[KayC]

I have led groups and loved it, and it was neat to watch the changes over time, we all became very close, but this is a small community and that's how it is here.

[Michelene]

I ended up at a grief support group for people who had lost spouses at our local hospice place, even though he hadn't been in hospice. They had groups meeting most nights, and even had a counselor meet me right away. Later I found a grief counselor not in the hospice system. I found the group helpful--I had been spending time in my own head too much--it was good to listen to others' stories. I didn't feel so alone in my grief. 

 

[widower2]

On 12/16/2020 at 2:13 AM, SharedLife said:

I've been waffling about whether or not to seek grief counseling, and I finally decided to do so last week.  I asked my doctor to provide a referral and he gave me the phone number of a group of counselors.  I've phoned three times in the past week and each time there's no answer (just a looped recording saying someone will answer).  So I went to my insurer's website to try to find someone who's covered by my insurance.  It's a very frustrating experience. Whomever designed their website is obviously someone with a cruel sense of humor. Having had mixed experiences with counselors in the past, I thing I'm going to forget the idea of trying to see one and spend some more time looking for information online.  If you have seen a counselor or attended group sessions, did you find it a great help? Helped a little bit?  Helped not much at all? Fuhgeddaboudit?

My .02 for whatever it's worth is don't give up. I had some similar bad experiences but ultimately did find a good therapist who helped a lot.  Finding information and places like this is all well and fine but it can't compare to talking to someone (or a group if that works for you) in person. Most areas unless they're more remote have various such options, some of them even free. You have nothing to lose... 

[MODArtemis2019]

I was fortunate when my husband died in that I already had a relationship with a wonderful caring therapist. I still see her on a regular basis (now via Skype). In addition, early on I attended several different bereavement groups. Especially in the beginning, it felt comforting to be around people who were grieving like me. Being out in the wider world was so difficult back then—I had fallen off a cliff into a new unwelcome universe, while everyone around me went about their business as if nothing had happened.  

Of course everything is different now with the pandemic. I would still encourage you to seek an online bereavement group or counselor. I do understand the frustration of dealing with inadequate technology, totally!  Just try again when you feel you have a little patience to spare.

There are many variables, so one person's experience doesn't necessarily apply to another's. But I think it's worth trying to get more help. I wish you well in your efforts. 

[Michelene]

On 12/15/2020 at 11:13 PM, SharedLife said:

I've been waffling about whether or not to seek grief counseling, and I finally decided to do so last week.  I asked my doctor to provide a referral and he gave me the phone number of a group of counselors.  I've phoned three times in the past week and each time there's no answer (just a looped recording saying someone will answer).  So I went to my insurer's website to try to find someone who's covered by my insurance.  It's a very frustrating experience. Whomever designed their website is obviously someone with a cruel sense of humor. Having had mixed experiences with counselors in the past, I thing I'm going to forget the idea of trying to see one and spend some more time looking for information online.  If you have seen a counselor or attended group sessions, did you find it a great help? Helped a little bit?  Helped not much at all? Fuhgeddaboudit?

If you live in a big enough place you might see if there is anything at a hospice place--I ended up at a hospice place, after trying to find a counselor--and all the counselor supported grief groups met for certain lengths of time and they didn't have openings. It would say, next group starts in seven weeks. Well, I was just about to drive the car into a bridge abutment I was so wracked with grief. That's when I found the hospice. They didn't charge anything, saw a personal counselor who told me about the spouse grief group. So I went to that, too. It was well run. Scary to go at first, but I was so desperate. Then later I was able to find a counselor (like 6 months later) who specialized in grief/trauma.