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I lost the love of my life-my husband, best friend and my world-all gone thanks to Covid


chacoswife3

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I had to watch him fight for his last breath, after a 6 week battle with Covid... i'm shattered and don't want to live, this is a nightmare. I stare at the walls and pictures of us, askng god all day WHY?

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I am so very sorry for what you are going through! The pain is intolerable! Losing the love ones life is devastating enough but the pandemic has brought it to a whole new level. I lost my soulmate to leukemia in May when the pandemic was just unleashing and even though eventually he tested negative for the virus, the way the hospitals treated him and us made things worse. I was screaming in pain when he had to be taken to the ER and hospitalized for blood transfusion and IV medication, and they wouldn’t let me in. In the end I had to beg and beg to enter just so that I could hold his hand and he could see my face between sedations. Those last days are still in a fog for me, the memory is too painful to go back to.
Cannot even imagine the psychological trauma of losing your loved one to a preventable disease. The only consolation I could think of is that you survived and there has to be a reason for that, even if it’s to carry his legacy and tell the story. Let yourself grief, come here often and read other people’s stories or vent, or both. I know it helped me a lot in the first unbearable months. With time the gut-wrenching pain has subsided or maybe I just got used to it.
I am so sorry for your loss! (((Hugs)))


Sent from my iPad using Grieving.com

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I just lost my love of my life my soulmate to COVID it's really hard i alway think what i could have done differently and maybe he would still be here with me. It's so hard to try to eat or sleep i walk around like a zombi any little memory of him drives me to a crying fit. Why couldn't we go together. I hope i could someday learn to accept his death life is so unfair

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I never want to accept Covid or "get over it", I simply beg God to take me also. I can't live with the way he died. Fighting for 6 weeks and we were all in constant prayer for those 6 weeks waiting for a miracle-the miracle never came. a wonderful human being was literally tortured by his body as Covid stole our lives. He was such a light to everyone who knew him... ugh, I can't do this

 

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Chacoswife3 I feel your pain I really do I don’t want to do this but it gives me something to look forward to reading from others who are going thru the same pain. I hate when people say that Covid isn’t real is is real and it kills. My Love only had it for 2 days and passed on the second day I haven’t been tested yet but I did have symptoms so I’m under quarantine for 14 days. I feel like I’m trapped and I can’t breathe because I can’t leave my place all I can do I open my window look out and take a deep breathe. I wonder why miracles work for some people and not others, why you find your soulmate but is taken away but others will be together 50 years and die together why could that happen for me and my Love. I apologize in advance for any misspelling I’m still in a fog and fell like a zombie

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I am so sorry for the loss each of you have suffered.  It is not fair.  It is not right. 

My husband died in 2017, well before covid.  I have now come to appreciate the blessing it was that I could be by my husband's side for the last 25 days of our 38 year marriage. His death was so devastating to me that at the time it had not occurred to me to be grateful for being able to hold his hand and speak to him. 

I am sorry to say this grief journey is longer than you might expect. It's best to try to take it one day at a time.  Looking into the future can be overwhelming.  Your brain is really not working properly right now. It is trying to make sense of terrible loss.  Brain fog, feeling numb, unable to concentrate are all common during the first year.  Just do what has to be done today.  Sometimes that is just breathing. 

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Gail 

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I am sorry for your loss.  I too lost my husband of 34 years to Covid on September 7.  It has been so hard.  Some days are better than others.  Thanksgiving was tough as I expect the upcoming holidays will be extremely tough.  I try to take one day at a time, go outside everyday and get a little fresh air, and cry when I need to. 

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I'm sorry for everyone else's loss.  My dad just died this morning.  He was in the hospital for a week and a half.  At first we had hope that he was improving, but then he took a turn for the worse. They went to put him on a ventilator but his heart stopped before they even got him on it.  It is killing me that he was alone for all that time and alone when he passed.  There has to be a better way to care for our families with Covid.

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I am so sorry for your loss. 

Yes, there has to be a better way.  Your experience, and so many others, is beyond heartbreaking.  It is inhumane, cruel. 

I am so sorry you, and so many others, haved this extra burden on top of your grief. 

Gail

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