Life seems meaningless

[LoveNeverDies]

I lost the love of my life, my soulmate on Friday 11/27/2020 from leukemia.I’m so lost without him, the days keep moving along but my mind doesn’t want them to, I want to go back to when he was alive. I’m just so depressed I want to die too. Life just seems so meaningless 

[Perro J]

My most sincere condolences to you. I lost my soulmate in July to cancer. Three days after her death, I was flying home. Now, four months later, I could not tell you any details about those flights, save for arrival at the first airport and time spent at MIA between connections. You are just starting out on your grief journey - the same as everyone else here has to. It is painful, it is often a struggle, and at times there is little more you can do other than endure. I wish I could illuminate the path ahead for you but I cannot. Everyone here has a unique path - but I think if you spend some time here you will find many of us have experienced the emotions you are feeling now. Many of us are still feeling them. I absolutely understand your sentiment of wanting to go back. I did, and still do want to. The sad reality is that we cannot. I also understand the feelings of life being meaningless. I would phrase it as a question of "What is the point?" It addresses many aspects. What was the point of her cancer? What is the point of me still being here? For now, just grieve. Cry, scream, pray, sob, sleep, reach out to others. Grieving is more than enough for your burden right now. Other responsibilities? Simply do the best you can.

I wish you solace.

[LoveNeverDies]

Thank you Perro . My condolences to you.I’m glad I found this site, just spilling out my feelings   helps. But I also don’t want to depress anyone more than they already are. 

[Diane R. E.]

LoveNeverDies: Please do not worry about making us more depressed! The understanding you will find on this site is nonjudgmental - you can express any feeling you have and others on this site will be fully supportive.

[KayC]

Please lay aside any thoughts/concerns about depressing us!  We all want to be here for you, the same as people were here for us when we first encountered our losses.  It HELPS to know you are heard by others that "get it."