My mom

[Khaya]

12 July 2011 my dear mother passed aey and she was laid to rest on the 31 July 2011. I have cried a lot and i have accepted that she is gone but today i have started crying again i think ihave fooled myself. i want to stop crying but i can't especialy when people starting to ask me 'how do u cope'. please help me this will kill me and i know that i am old enough for doing this 38 years old. but again m asking myself 'if m feeling like this,how are my siblings'.

[rlolheiser]

12 July 2011 my dear mother passed aey and she was laid to rest on the 31 July 2011. I have cried a lot and i have accepted that she is gone but today i have started crying again i think ihave fooled myself. i want to stop crying but i can't especialy when people starting to ask me 'how do u cope'. please help me this will kill me and i know that i am old enough for doing this 38 years old. but again m asking myself 'if m feeling like this,how are my siblings'.

I am sorry to hear of your loss.. I know that sounds like an old cliche.. but I understand the loss of a parent. I lost my dad 5 1/2 years ago. I remember the day.. the tears.. I cried for days.. and the other 4 siblings handled it all differently. One excluded himself from the family, he no longer wanted to be around us, another just wanted what he could get from dads belongings, the other 2 acted like if was no big deal.. but me.. the day he left my heart died too. I still cry all these years.. like I said, sometimes we just need to cry. We are all so different, be kind to yourself, try to remember the good times, and try to be you. If you have to cry to somebody, cry, it is a relief at times, sometimes crying just gives us the little bit of relief we need the more you hold it in, I think it gets worse. If crying begins to consume your every thought, then you do need to seek help, but other than that, time is the only thing that helps, the pain the missing.. is there always, it still is for me.. but we learn to live a new kind of life without the parent we adore so much.

I wish there was a rule book to follow on sorrow.. but sadly we all have our own way.. coming to a site like this really helps.. there is always somebody out there reading, and maybe just writing your feelings down will help too. I wish you peace my friend, again, be good to yourelf.

[ModKonnie]

12 July 2011 my dear mother passed aey and she was laid to rest on the 31 July 2011. I have cried a lot and i have accepted that she is gone but today i have started crying again i think ihave fooled myself. i want to stop crying but i can't especialy when people starting to ask me 'how do u cope'. please help me this will kill me and i know that i am old enough for doing this 38 years old. but again m asking myself 'if m feeling like this,how are my siblings'.

Dear Khaya,

I am sorry for the loss of your mother. It is perfectly okay for you to cry; your loss is very new and it is going to take some time to be able to start to move forward. It doesn't matter how old you are, it still hurts beyond belief when a parent dies. I was 45 when my father died. He will be gone two years on August 21. I cried for weeks, and then the first year I cried on special occassions, holidays, his birthday, etc. I still go through periods when I am weepy and sad, but I have learned to move forward and find happiness.

I have 5 living brothers and sisters. We each grieved in our own way. My sister was angry at the world and lashed out at everyone for months. One of my brothers refuses to talk about my father, and the rest of us do our grieving in our own way.

Why don't you ask your siblings how they are doing? Can you get together and talk about your loss?

I know this is terribly hard right now, but in time things will get better.

ModKonnie

[itbeme]

So very sorry for your loss. Honey I hope we can live through this, but I to question it at times. People all seem to have differant ways of handling death, I have a sister who so goes with it, I mean my little brother committed suicide in 1996 and she has yet to shed a tear. As everyone keeps telling me hang in there I am here for you if you ever need to talk. ((HUGS))