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scared after loss of mom


dizzydancingway

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dizzydancingway

My mom died a few months back and I just learned today that my boyfriend of two years has sickle cell anemia. The shock of this news has a hold on me. I don't know much about sickle cell, but from what I've read your life expectancy is signficantly lower. He is at risk for strokes and organ failures and many fatal health issues.

I'm really scared and feel so alone in this. After the trauma of losing a mom at 27, when I should have had years left with her, I'm not sure how to handle loving someone with a complicated disease--one that can be fatal. I know we can all die so suddenly without notice, but I'm seriously scared, not only of losing him, but of the life I will have-the wo rry that I will carry with me.

Losing my mom changed me so dramatically. I'm much stronger, but I also much more sensitive and aware of the brevity of life. I don't want this to define me, but it seems there's no escape. I feel like I've been punched in the guts.

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My mom died a few months back and I just learned today that my boyfriend of two years has sickle cell anemia. The shock of this news has a hold on me. I don't know much about sickle cell, but from what I've read your life expectancy is signficantly lower. He is at risk for strokes and organ failures and many fatal health issues.

I'm really scared and feel so alone in this. After the trauma of losing a mom at 27, when I should have had years left with her, I'm not sure how to handle loving someone with a complicated disease--one that can be fatal. I know we can all die so suddenly without notice, but I'm seriously scared, not only of losing him, but of the life I will have-the wo rry that I will carry with me.

Losing my mom changed me so dramatically. I'm much stronger, but I also much more sensitive and aware of the brevity of life. I don't want this to define me, but it seems there's no escape. I feel like I've been punched in the guts.

Hi Dizzydancingway,

First of all, please try to calm down. Being afraid and aware of how fragile life is after a profound loss is normal. In your situation, I am sure the added stress of your boyfriend's diagnosis is making things worse.

That said, start doing some in-depth research on sickle cell to find out what is really going on. Many advances have been made in sickle cell research, so much of the information people "know" is outdated. Also, get him to ask his doctor questions--lots of them. Perhaps he will let you go with him.

Try your best not to worry until you get all the facts. And if things do turn out to be bad, then love your man with all your heart and do everything you both had planned and keep moving forward. Live life one day at a time--it helps relieve the anxiety of stress.

ModKonnie

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dizzydancingway

Thanks for your response. I've calmed down quite a bit about all this. I can't say that its easy to really think about, but I've decided I really don't want to obsess over what could and might happen. My boyfriends been an amazing support since losing my mom and I'm so lucky I've had him to rely on. Right now, that's all I want to focus on!

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