My mom died on Friday

[Db1]

I feel lost and full of regret for not spending more time with her this year. She was sick, and the life slowly slept away from her this year. I wish I would have went home to see her more.

[Heartlight]

Hello Db1.

I am sorry for the loss of your Mom.  In its own time and its own way, you will be able to hold the memory of your mom again someday without the regret that you feel now.  And I know it doesn't help right now to know this, or to know that many people have been in similar situations of regret or despair because of something they did or did not do.  But I tell you this, at least, so you know that you are not alone in how you feel and that your feelings are natural.  Accepting you have these feelings of regret without beating yourself up even more about them will be part of the healing process that brings you closer to the memories of your mom and what you want to do with the gifts that she brought into your life, when she was alive and as part of the legacy you want to live for her.

I wish you peace.

<3

[tessa]

Hi Db1,
Ditto what Heartlight has written about you're not alone in having regrets. Most of us do.
I read something the other day that gave me comfort with regrets, I can't remember where I read it.
It said that most of us are not prepared for the loss of our parents. We are busy with day to day living. We need to work to pay the bills. We may have children or other responsibilities.
Most us us can't just stop and be with our parents (unless we are financially free).
Added to that is that we can't imagine not having parents. We've had them all our lives. We intellectually know parents die but we don't know it emotionally, until it happens.
I was caught out with my father. The doctor told me he didn't have long to live but somehow I didn't believe it and then it happened.
I was better prepared with my mother. After losing Dad, I dropped everything to make my mother my priority. It helped that I was in a better financial position with my mother.
To deal with the regrets, I tell myself - I did the best I could given my level of understanding. I would have done better if I had known better but I didn't.
Just having the regret shows you cared. Forgive yourself. We're only human.