My mother could've been saved

[Nayana]

I'm 21, and I lost my mom almost a month ago. Time has no meaning anymore, and it feels like my life has been completely shattered. I'm an only child, so my mom was my best friend, my strength. The way she loved me was unnatural, she didn't care about anything else, including her own health. 

 

My mom had a chronic condition that could've easily been maintained with meds and diet. Others with her condition lead long lives, but my mother completely refused to take medicines and towards the end of her life she barely ate. She hated hospitals so she would've rather died at home than gone to a hospital, but in the end as fate would have it, she died in the ICU. I csnt get over the guilt I feel for not saving her, she was my everything. 

[reader]

Dear Nayana,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. (((hugs))) I'm so sorry for your devastating loss.

I know most moms tend to put themselves last and give everything to their children, partners, friends, family and colleagues. Your mom was so selfless and loving and she probably didn't even think about it.

Feeling guilty is part of the grieving process, but please be kind and gentle with yourself. I don't think you could've done anything because if your mom was like my dad, she probably would have carried on the same no matter what you said. Please know we are with you.

Sending my thoughts and prayers.

[Coachduncan05]

Dear Nayana,

My mom was also my best friend. We talked about everything. It’s been 6 months since my mom has been gone and I still lose my breath.
 

It’s not your fault though. She made her choice. She chose to live her life her way. I’m sure you were her favorite person and her everything too. 
 

I tragically feel the same way about my moms death. She didn’t tell me when she felt bad, she ignored doctors, and was stubborn. She died too young and could have been there to see me have kids. But she died suddenly and tragically when she could have stayed around. 
 

It is hard everyday to accept. But all we can do is keep trying. 
 

that’s all I’m doing, is trying to keep my head up 
 

[Nayana]

On 10/24/2020 at 2:02 PM, reader said:

Dear Nayana,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. (((hugs))) I'm so sorry for your devastating loss.

I know most moms tend to put themselves last and give everything to their children, partners, friends, family and colleagues. Your mom was so selfless and loving and she probably didn't even think about it.

Feeling guilty is part of the grieving process, but please be kind and gentle with yourself. I don't think you could've done anything because if your mom was like my dad, she probably would have carried on the same no matter what you said. Please know we are with you.

Sending my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you so much for your kind words

12 hours ago, Coachduncan05 said:

Dear Nayana,

My mom was also my best friend. We talked about everything. It’s been 6 months since my mom has been gone and I still lose my breath.
 

It’s not your fault though. She made her choice. She chose to live her life her way. I’m sure you were her favorite person and her everything too. 
 

I tragically feel the same way about my moms death. She didn’t tell me when she felt bad, she ignored doctors, and was stubborn. She died too young and could have been there to see me have kids. But she died suddenly and tragically when she could have stayed around. 
 

It is hard everyday to accept. But all we can do is keep trying. 
 

that’s all I’m doing, is trying to keep my head up 
 

It's definitely hard, I wish neither of us had to experience this pain. Thank you for your kind words

[MyHonkeyTonkAngel]

Dear Nayana,

        I am so sorry to hear about your mom. She loved you so much because she knew how amazing the daughter she raised was. I know i dont know you to be able to say that but the way you discribed her love for you says it all. I lost my mom too. She hated hospitals as well. She hid her illness well and took care of everyone but herself. I called her mother's day to find out she was in icu for a illness i didnt even know she had. She passed away the next day. I was in shock. I felt guilty that i didnt notice she was so sick. But there was nothing i could do. Retrospect is 20/20 so its natural to feel guilt. But you were not only her daughter, but her best friend too. Im sure that means you gave her so much in life. Someone asked me if i thought my mom would want me to feel guilty. Im asking you that same question. You obviously made her so happy and she loved her little girl. So you be kind to that little girl she loved so much.