I lost my dog (my best friend of 12 years) yesterday. I’m broken

[Scruffydawg]

This is my first post here, so please bear with me if I’m missing protocol.  I’m a 51 year old male, been through a rough patch and years of repeated loss.  Most of my family is gone.  A onetime best friend hung himself, and his 22 year old son, who we helped raise died mysteriously in his bed (no I’m not kidding).  This has been an ongoing theme for years now.  I swear I’m embarrassed to even talk about it, because it sounds like a bad country song.  it’s just a lot.  

Long story short, Two years ago my partner of 30 years unexpectedly lost his job.  He tanked and has been unavailable for a while now.  Took half our income with the breakdown.  We’ve been fighting every weekend and I’m just trying to make it, keep working, etc. for two years now.  Two days ago, our pup of 12 years Tai Mae, had a stroke or brain tumor that took her from functional to vegetable in one night.  We put her down yesterday.  I have never had a pup like this animal and she supported me through all of this.  I feel worse about this than I’ve felt about some people that have passed.  I can feel the grief in my chest, but it feels like I’ll die trying to get it out.  I’m joining this forum because I just feel like I’m loosing it.  I feel like I want to die so I can hug my friend again.  After everything, all the loss, it turns out my pup shattered my heart.  I’m really struggling with this. 

[KayC]

I am so, so sorry!  I'm glad you found this place, it supported me when I lost my soulmate in a dog, Arlie, 13 months ago.  I've had a lot of animals in my life, but this one was perfect for me.  I got him after my husband unexpectedly passed and then our dog subsequently.  He saw me through everything.  I understand your feeling as you do.  Dogs are so loyal and wonderful and don't care what our breath smells like or how poor we are, or anything else, they live to love us, and are our greatest gifts.  Losing my Arlie was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, and I've had a LOT of losses so that says a lot!

Wishing you some comfort and peace.
http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm

 

[AJWCat]

I am so sorry to read this too. It's never a good time and these days, it's even worse. 

[Collettesweetbear]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Loss is awful, it just is. The grieving process you have probably started is like the hardest thing ever. Take care of yourself, are you eating regular meals? I know eating can be very difficult right now. When my fur baby scooter died, I suffered for months and months. Just sheer denial. I cried many times a day, everyday. But, I know there are many times in your life that has been hurtful or


Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com

[Jazz100]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog of nearly 13 years on Monday. I don’t know how I will live without him. I’ve never had a dog love me so much, he was my shadow and soul mate. I am still in shock that he has gone. Like your loss it was so quick. It was a brain tumour that comes on rapidly with no warning. One minute he was fine and then he wasn’t but he tried to get to me crawling on the floor. I can’t get this out of my mind. Sorry I’m not giving words of comfort here but I wanted you to know that I really feel your pain. 

[KayC]

I responded to your other post of this, I hope you will find and read it.