Loss of Daughter, Stacy

[echofc]

This site is very new to me as is most everything else in my life. Please forgive me if I am posting in the wrong place or need to do something else. I am the mother of a wonderful daughter who passed away from liver cancer. We are the best of friends and the pain is so very deep. When she was a baby she was diagnosed a condition causing her to go on dialysis and later have a kidney transplant. As years went on she went through a lot of medical crisis....a brain bleed, 3 years dialysis as a child, and many surgeries. But in between the bad times, there were great times. She grew up, worked, had lots of close friends and was engaged to be married. She received her third kidney transplant from her sister. It was a great day because it was a perfect match. The match was so close it was like a twin. At last we thought her problems were over and she could have a normal life. She became engaged and planned to marry next summer. In April we got the devastating news that she had advanced liver cancer from radiation and anti-rejection drugs she had to take for the transplants. She passed away July 9th after a brave battle at the age of 31. I feel so blessed to have had her for all those years and the relationship we had. The amazing thing about Stacy is that she never complained about her health. She was the bravest person I ever met. Now I am lost. I don't know how to even start getting my life back. Because of her medical issues all her life, we were always very close. I really don't know what to do with myself because I was with her all the time when she was sick. Where do I start. I feel so sad all the time I can hardly move. I love her so much and miss her with all my heart. Sue

[ModKonnie]

This site is very new to me as is most everything else in my life. Please forgive me if I am posting in the wrong place or need to do something else. I am the mother of a wonderful daughter who passed away from liver cancer. We are the best of friends and the pain is so very deep. When she was a baby she was diagnosed a condition causing her to go on dialysis and later have a kidney transplant. As years went on she went through a lot of medical crisis....a brain bleed, 3 years dialysis as a child, and many surgeries. But in between the bad times, there were great times. She grew up, worked, had lots of close friends and was engaged to be married. She received her third kidney transplant from her sister. It was a great day because it was a perfect match. The match was so close it was like a twin. At last we thought her problems were over and she could have a normal life. She became engaged and planned to marry next summer. In April we got the devastating news that she had advanced liver cancer from radiation and anti-rejection drugs she had to take for the transplants. She passed away July 9th after a brave battle at the age of 31. I feel so blessed to have had her for all those years and the relationship we had. The amazing thing about Stacy is that she never complained about her health. She was the bravest person I ever met. Now I am lost. I don't know how to even start getting my life back. Because of her medical issues all her life, we were always very close. I really don't know what to do with myself because I was with her all the time when she was sick. Where do I start. I feel so sad all the time I can hardly move. I love her so much and miss her with all my heart. Sue

Sue,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your Stacy. She sounds like a wonderful and strong person. There are many parents here who have lost their beloved children. They will be able to offer you a measure of guidance on where to start to move forward. Please feel free to post pictures, tell us stories and share with us Stacy's story. We will be here for you.

ModKonnie

[Mourningsource]

Sue,

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. I can not imagine the pain you must feel. I have two little girls, and losing either of them would totally destroy me.

Stuggling to find your way after a loved one has died is very common - particularly for those who were caregivers. Not only have you lost somebody you love, but you've also lost part of your identity as a caregiver. All of the time, love amd energy that you put into caring for your loved one needs to find a way to be channeled elsewhere. I've found that journaling is a very helpful exercise to facilitate grief. Not only will it help to pass some time, but it helps to clarify some of your thoughts and feelings. As your relationship with your daughter enters a new stage, journaling may even spark an idea about how you can channel that energy and grief into a positive project in memory of your daughter.

I hope this helps, and, again, I'm sorry for your devastating loss. I wish you well on your grief journey.