Members tnd Posted August 1, 2021 Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2021 widower2: Because I need to accept my medical condition and the limitations it poses, I had started working on having "positivity" in my life. I was trying to look at the glass half full rather than half empty. I was incorporating anything positive into my day. I began to read less news and listen to more music or watch funny animal videos. If I couldn't make the bed like I use to but could still put the sheets and blankets on in some way by myself, then that was "the good word of the day" as I'd call it. If I couldn't go for a walk but could sit at the window at watch people walk their dogs, then that was a positive. I would even wear bright-colored lipstick indoors because the bold color made me feel emboldened and somehow normal. I kept everything simple. Anyways, I'm sure you get the idea. Anything that could be considered a plus or a positive made me feel better and when I feel better, I do better as far as living with a chronic condition. But then my husband passed and I've lost the will to fight. I've lost my purpose. I don't know how to apply positivity to this because I don't (yet) see a future without him. Or any future. And the headlines would have us believing we are all going to die. Maybe they just want us to believe that, I don't know but it is still very depressing so I don't read much news anymore. And I certainly don't watch TV. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted August 2, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted August 2, 2021 tnd it takes time, this is so new and fresh to you, I don't like saying that any more than you like hearing it, but there's no quick fix. I felt hopeless and uncaring if I lived or died early on so can appreciate that mindset. But ultimately I realized it's "OK" to feel bad, to feel hopeless, i.e. to allow for that and give yourself the leeway to know it's "normal." And that, gradual though it is, that searing anguish will not always be so searing...those towering waves that crash around you gradually do diminish. As for the news and most TV, I completely agree it's best avoided, IMO it's become pathetic and so in the sewer. Why waste your time/energy on that? Awhile back I bought DVDs of The Waltons and took real comfort in that...real stories, real people, quality people, not without its struggles but ultimately life affirming. To take a page from your book, a way to focus on the positive. I wish you as many positive thoughts as you can muster in this dark time. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted August 3, 2021 Members Report Share Posted August 3, 2021 21 hours ago, widower2 said: Awhile back I bought DVDs of The Waltons and took real comfort in that...real stories, real people, quality people, not without its struggles but ultimately life affirming. To take a page from your book, a way to focus on the positive. I wish you as many positive thoughts as you can muster in this dark time. widower2: Thank you for the advice AND POSITIVE THOUGHTS!! Before I married, I didn't even have cable TV...didn't watch enough TV to warrant having a bill. Just watched a little news before work in the mornings but that was only because I was up very early with my coffee. Didn't even have a computer back then either. I did have a DVD player and would rent myself movies on the weekend. Treated myself to Chinese takeout and a cold Dr. Pepper (obviously haven't forgotten) and then would sit back and watch a movie. By myself. Use to drive my friends crazy because I never went out. My younger years (20's) were spent going to clubs and after a while, I got bored with that and decided it was a waste of time and money. I bought a newspaper every day and would read it in bed every nite. Always left the "funny pages" for last. I honestly think I sleep better if my last thought of the day makes me laugh. Heck, I have been known to buy a few paperbacks of Garfield. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted August 3, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted August 3, 2021 You're welcome and there you go. You can probably get DVDs of things you like inexpensively now since streaming is much more popular. Or there is streaming...I haven't had cable for many years. Just roku and Netflix, that's my "TV." Or browsing youtube. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted August 16, 2021 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2021 I was also going to suggest using the library. It's an incredible resource and there is so much available! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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