I Lost my Boyfriend my best friend

[Christii]

I been with my partner for 15 years and to lost him to a shooting is Really horrible To me he had just left home May 1 2020 and to find out he passed way the next day really made me feel some type of way I’m just lost I have idea what’s next I just pray it’s gets better for me I can’t take no more hurt lost I’m just confused If there anyone that have deal with losing significant other I just would like Prayers’s and thank you.

[Perro J]

30 minutes ago, Christii said:

I just would like Prayers

I can do that much for you.

I am sorry for your loss. People here have lost someone very important to them, like you. There is a little relief in being able to talk to people who know what it feels like. I hope you find solace.

[Gail 8588]

Christii,

I am so sorry for your loss.   I will pray for you. 

Gail

[Christii]

Thank you so much glady Appreciate it.

[foreverhis]

2 hours ago, Christii said:

I just would like Prayers’s

Of course you will be in our prayers.

We understand the deep grief and loss you are experiencing, though most of us have little to no experience of loss by murder.  I can barely fathom the shock of that.

We can relate to everything you are feeling, anger, confusion, despair, loss of hope.  Our experiences are unique, but the unfathomable grief is something we all understand.  For now, please just keep breathing and take it one day, one hour at a time.  It's a cliche because it is true that it's the only thing we can do at first. 

You've found a good place to be.

[Yoli]

Sending love and prayers and hoping we all find some form of peace.

[Christii]

Thank you so much I’m just glad I’m reaching out

Thank you forevahis i don’t no how to feel what to do I’m just lost.

[KayC]

@Christii  I will pray for you.  I think we all feel this way in the early time.  The hardest thing I've ever been through.

I wrote this a few years ago of the things I've found helpful, I like to share it with newer people to this, hoping something helps you today and something else perhaps on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of it's own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs))) Praying for you today.