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Lost my family.


NonChris

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I'm 27 and my mother died a few days ago, stomache cancer. I was in the hospice holding her hand with all of my relatives around and she just stopped breathing. She was my rock in life, she always kept my wild side in check. My only brother died three years ago in a car crash, he was my best friend. We'd sit for hours and watch movies and play video games, we got along so well. He was 27 and I was 24 when he died. For the most part all of us lived in the house i'm living in now, along with my step-dad. Now it's down to just me and him. It's not that we don't get along, it's just not the same as my real family you know? I feel so alone. My real dad is alive but he's dying of huntingtons, he's living with my stepmom and she's talking care of him. Sounds like a bad joke right? Losing your whole family at age 27. I know i'm not the only person it's ever happend to, but there's not many i'm sure. I'm depressed constantly, the future just looks so bleak and joyless. I don't feel like I can ever fully recover and have a happy normal life.

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Oh my I am so sorry for all the pain you must be feeling. I am sorry that you are feeling alone and I get it, it would be unusual if you didn't feel that way sometimes. Do you have a strong network of friends? Do you have cousins that can assist you with some of this lonely for family feeling? I know that my Son is surrounded by friends and many of those are his cousins, we are lucky for having so many. He lost his sister 8years ago, My girl would be 27 right now. Hang on and if nobody is posting on this site, you may feel like joining us on the LOSS OF ADULT CHILD because we are the most active group on this site it seems. We are pretty welcoming and you may find some good support there.

Peace

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I'm 27 and my mother died a few days ago, stomache cancer. I was in the hospice holding her hand with all of my relatives around and she just stopped breathing. She was my rock in life, she always kept my wild side in check. My only brother died three years ago in a car crash, he was my best friend. We'd sit for hours and watch movies and play video games, we got along so well. He was 27 and I was 24 when he died. For the most part all of us lived in the house i'm living in now, along with my step-dad. Now it's down to just me and him. It's not that we don't get along, it's just not the same as my real family you know? I feel so alone. My real dad is alive but he's dying of huntingtons, he's living with my stepmom and she's talking care of him. Sounds like a bad joke right? Losing your whole family at age 27. I know i'm not the only person it's ever happend to, but there's not many i'm sure. I'm depressed constantly, the future just looks so bleak and joyless. I don't feel like I can ever fully recover and have a happy normal life.

NonChris,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your mother, your brother and your father's terminal illness. Your situation is indeed tough at this point, but you can recover, and you can have a happy normal life. It is going to take some time, and normal will be different than it was, but you can move forward from this. Do you have friends that are supportive? What about co-workers? Perhaps you may want to look for a local grief and loss group or call a spiritual leader in your community and ask about help.

You may also want to talk to your physician about your depression. He may be able to guide and help you to a good person in your community that can be there for you.

Please know that you can always come here. We will support and encourage you as you move forward in your healing. We will be here for you.

ModKonnie

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I am so very sorry for all the loss that you have had to suffer. I know that words can not do justice to the pain that you are feeling. I lost my little brother 2 months ago, my father 3 years ago, and my mother 4 years ago. My parents deaths were difficult, but my little brother's death has just been something else. I felt like he was all that I have left. I also have a stepmom and a step brother who are here, and I am grateful for them, but I know what you mean when you say that its just not the same, I am 30, and just thinking about all the people I have lost makes me feel hopeless as well. With my brother's death, it has brought so many feelings up, its like its just too much at this point. It has been a big struggle, but I decided today that if I am going to be here, living, I don't want to be miserable. For the past couple of months I have felt absolutely stuck, unable to move forward. I realize that I am not ok with this, and joining this forum is my first step towards trying to heal. I know it won't be easy, and the pain will never really go away, but I believe that if I work through this, and focus on the time I DID get with my family, it will only make me a stronger person. I have a daughter that I am living for and who needs me to be a whole person. I don't know what kind of people you have around you, but anyone who loves and cares for you needs you to be a whole person too. There is no solution or easy answer, and everyone has a different way of handling tragedy, but it is possible to come out of it a strong, better person. I believe that. My heart goes out to you, I literally feel your pain. Just don't give up. My thoughts are with you.

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I lost my mother to cancer when I was only 13 years old, I was young but I sure did understand "death" and it was horrible. It was hard to imagine how my life would be without my mother, but I have 6 sisters and had 2 brothers. Of course he family support made this a little easier but ofcourse those moments of loneliness and pain would come to me through out the rest of my life, especially during hard times in my life. But my motivation for a better life was my family especailly my youngest brother who was only 3 when our mother passed away. I was motivated to become the best person I could to be able to provide my brother with a better life. Of ourse I loved all my sisters and brothers but my baby brother was something diffferent, he was like my child. We were so close, I can proudly say "I was his favorite sister" :) But now my baby brother is gone, just 2months ago my brother got hit by car and passed away. He was only 13! He was just starting to live (in my opinion). That day I can say a part of me went with him. Loosing my brother in this horrible way has really made the "grieving" process much harder than it was when I lost my mother to cancer. Ofcourse loosing my mother hurt me a lot but loosing my baby brother has taken a lt of me. I feel very lonely at times and scared. But I try to remind myself that NO ONE in this world will live forever, and none of us know exactly when or how we will receieve death, but that its going to happen,,,that is a FACT! and really alll we can do while given the gift of "life" is to live, and to make the most of our lifes. Try to find happiness and do things that people will remember us (of course good things) for, so we can leave behing the inly thing we will leave when death comes for us...and that is MEMORIES! I can certainly put myself in your shoes but I just want you to know you are not a lone and it is up to you....to see and find the wonderful things in life. I love you and hope today is a better day!

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