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Lost my Dad


NLSimon

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My Dad passed away from natural causes on June 4th. My parents were together for 71 years, married for 67 years. My Dad didn't want a funeral (not because of Covid) or even an obituary. My Mom didn't want me to come home as I was just there the prior week and she needed time to herself to get her "sea legs" about her. Now, 3 months later, I am finally going home and am riddled with anxiety to walk into my parents home and see my Dad is no longer there. I don't want to upset my Mom but I feel like I never got the closure that the rest of my local family got from seeing he was gone. How can I better prepare for the trip beyond crying and building up an unhealthy amount of anxiety?

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Dear NLSimon,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. Your feelings are understandable. You're very thoughtful and considerate daughter. Be kind to yourself. Maybe talk to your mom in advance and say I don't want to upset you further but I don't know how I'm going to feel walking through the door. I was very raw and sometimes I would tell myself be in control but the anger or tears would bubble out of me anyway. It's okay to feel what you feel. We all just do the best we can under the circumstances and I'm sure your family will understand.

I hope these sites can provide some additional supports.

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

What's Your Grief

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