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Weekend


Yoli

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I went away for the weekend with a friend which seemed like a good idea at the time. However I couldn't stop thinking that it should be my partner there with me. Just a constant reminder. Now I sit in the office Monday morning feeling at near rock bottom again.

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Honestly, I think you were extremely brave to try.  I'm not at all surprised that your partner was on your mind and in your heart the whole time, especially because your loss is so new.  And now you know that you're not ready for that yet. 

The road we're on, this unwelcome and painful journey, is not straight or easy.  We are here for you and will always be here to listen, to comfort as we can, and to let you know that you are not alone.

((hugs))

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Thank you. I needed those words. I have been having some really dark thoughts tonight.

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@YoliI think I'd feel the same way, at this point at least.  I've been thinking about getting away for a few days for my birthday in a couple of weeks,, and keep going back and forth about it, thinking I might just be doubly depressed he wasn't there with me for the first time.  There's nowhere to run from this terrible ache in my heart...it's with me at all times.  I guess..I hope..with time it won't hurt this much.

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Yoli, I agree, it was brave for you to try and I wouldn't call it a total failure...what you did is went outside your comfort zone and that is a HUGE step, even if it felt like it did as a result.  It was still a step forward, even though you feel like it set you back.  You can be proud of yourself for trying, it just shows you aren't feeling it yet and that's okay too.  It does take practice getting out of our comfort zone before we see progress with it.  I remember how hard it was for me to go out to eat...alone.  Now I can do it with no problem.  Same with getting groceries (that's something we always did together, we're 50 miles away from the grocery store and we'd make a day of it).  Now I'm used to doing things alone...not that I like it, but at least it doesn't slam me now. ;)

 

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