Members Art Thebes Posted August 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 Operator error A place to discuss, reminisce, and use that four lettered word: Home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Maria_PI Posted August 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 @Art Thebes I am just so happy for you! We need some light around here and sometimes it comes out of the most surprising places! Thank you for brightening my day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Art Thebes Posted August 28, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 Take two: This is a page for any of us that have lost our homes, have a happy or sad memory of home that needs sharing, or anything that takes you back to those country roads... Home... A simple word. A four lettered word. A friendly word. A frightening word. A word with all the various meanings and connotations in the world... Care to share? 42 minutes ago, Art Thebes said: I know that I should be working, and I know that you'd argue that I should be sleeping... I know that I have to write this; because, as the music plays in my ears, and you did put these headphones on my head... that I just had to simply say, Thank you. Thank you for reminding me that just because it has four letters, and was it lost for so long... that I didn't have to be afraid of it anymore. Thank you for showing me, letting me in, holding my hand, for trusting me with her heart... Thank you for a place, a feeling, a certainty that I finally have a... Home. 32 minutes ago, Maria_PI said: @Art Thebes I am just so happy for you! We need some light around here and sometimes it comes out of the most surprising places! Thank you for brightening my day Thank you Maria Thank you for so many things; today of all days, your timing has been impeccable! Without your reply, I would not have noticed that I had forgotten to hit submit on the posting of the topic... (or maybe I'll blame the internet today) I hope you don't mind, if I move us down, just a scooch... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Maria_PI Posted August 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 I know I should be working... but instead I am wondering all over in my thoughts - home... Wondering where home is right now... Is it where you spirit is or where your body is? Because life (or death, they say is part of life) split those two? How do I keep it together? How do I keep us together? I know you said in your last letter, just a month before "life" took your body away, but not your spirit, "I am lost for words..." And you had never been lost for words before to describe how you feel about us. You said "I look outside and can't imagine that I will never see those trees again, I will never see my figgy bear fruit.. The quiet of our house and Lizzy listening to its silence.... Well my beauty, I know I will always be by your side in body or spirit. That's what I would like to feel and imagine. Everything is so "up in the air", words don't seem to matter... I guess sometimes we can never say goodbye." So is home where your spirit is? That means it's in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Art Thebes Posted August 28, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, Maria_PI said: How do I keep us together? and with that simple question, you hit the nail on the head. How do I keep US "together"?? reaching for something that is no longer there... a long missed and delightful scent on the sheets or their clothes... the most melodic and carefree laughter, ever captured by mere human ears... the empty and frightening sensation of all your trust, your entire lifetime's supply of safety, reassurance, and a net that you knew would never fail to catch you, when you fell... a voice that can no longer be heard without a slight doubt of "was it like that, really?" or, "was that their voice in my head, or mine?"... personally, I have to say, this Walking Ghost of an existence... this Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore sh#t SUCKS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Art Thebes Posted August 28, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 15 minutes ago, Art Thebes said: personally, I have to say, this Walking Ghost of an existence... this Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore sh#t SUCKS! My apologies. What I intended to say, is that "trying to keep US together", is and has been a physical impossibility for the past nine months... I had spent so much time trying to keep someone with me... to keep something "together", that was irrevocably torn asunder, and ripped away from me. And here's the kicker: I feel GUILTY for making a statement that says "ripped away from ME"... My wife will be with me forever. ...somehow, I have to believe this... and come to accept it. I cannot keep us "together" anymore than we already are. I can however, start something new, brighten someone else's day, smile, and keep putting one foot in front of the other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted August 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 I have wonderful memories of the last home my husband and I shared. It was a huge old former hotel built in 1897. My husband fell in love with it at first sight. It was a block off the Atlantic Ocean and faced a small river that ran just behind the beach dunes. I remember telling his parents there is absolutely no way we are going to buy this huge money pit! But there was no stopping my hubby when he set his mind to something. From the first year we lived there we hosted an extended family Thanksgiving, 14 years in a row. Thirty-five to fifty-five people came over the years. There were several families of cousins that we only saw at Thanksgiving. It was a magical old beach house where you could watch dolphins swim in the river, impossibly pink birds (rosette spoonbills) roosted in the mangroves, you could eat oysters directly from the water in front of the house, right whales nursed their calves just off shore. There were also marsh rats that lived in the walls and everything rusted to pieces in the salt air, both inside and outside of the drafty old frame structure. I will always hold dear the memories of our time in that house there was no possible way we were going to buy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lars M Posted August 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 That house sounds beautiful. Keep that picture alive in your heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jwahlquist Posted August 28, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 28, 2020 Home is a feeling.......a comfort provided by those we care about and that care about us. One can have a house and never feel truly at home because the presence of what makes it feel like home is missing. The struggle lies in learning to somehow recreate or rediscover the feeling so that those 4 walls can be home again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Art Thebes Posted August 29, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2020 8 hours ago, Gail 8588 said: I will always hold dear the memories of our time in that house there was no possible way we were going to buy. dearest Gail, that, is no mere house... clearly, that was a home and it sounds fantastic! the adventures in love... nes pas? hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Art Thebes Posted August 29, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2020 7 hours ago, jwahlquist said: The struggle lies in learning to somehow recreate or rediscover the feeling so that those 4 walls can be home again. From everything I've read, that you have posted, I have ZERO doubt in my mind that you possess the courage, strength and love needed for overcoming a daunting, yet in reality, relatively small obstacle in your life. you are amazing. You are strong! YOU go out of your way, to care for those that remain still unknown... and I for one, am honored to be your friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted August 29, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2020 2 hours ago, Art Thebes said: . . .adventures in love... nes pas? Yes, life with John was and adventure in love. That ridiculously big, and decrepit, beach house was a single example of our 40 year adventure together. With 7 bedrooms and 6 baths and only the 2 of us living there it made no sense. But the old hotel became home to dozens of friends, family, musicians and acquaintances with a need for a place to stay. A right whale scientist lived with us for 6 months each year for 4 years. An artist going through a divorce stayed for 8 months. I have a beautiful sculpture of his. A niece with her family of four stayed for almost 2 years. A nephew who loved to surf stayed for a year. Countless numbers of friends came and stayed when they needed a mental health break. Musicians always knew there was a room for them at our house. We never charged a dime of rent but many helping hands kept the old place from falling to pieces. It was most certainly a home full of love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 29, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted August 29, 2020 It has been over 15 years for me so I've had more time to adjust. Not that I miss him any less, but rather that I've learned to live with it. Not that I like this. Over the years I have learned to value myself, rather than just living to please someone else, pleasing him made me happy and vice versa. But I'm learning to take care of myself, cook healthy, even prepare delicious meals just for me! Home was where me, Miss Mocha, Kitty, and Arlie lived together...now they're all gone and I live with memories of my husband and all of the pets I lost, the kids grown up and gone...yes, much like living with ghosts. This is my home. I have this puppy, Kodie, my son brought me in December, he keeps me busy, he's adorable, but he's not my Arlie, no animal replaces another. I've held off getting another cat, I'm not sure why. Over 15 years of living alone, no husband or kids to keep me company...Art, I am happy for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted August 29, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2020 We moved a lot, state to state for work we lived by the beach, in the mountains, in the country, and lastly in the desert. As hard as it was to move each time, we knew that home was we were together and we feared nothing, it was adventure. It was us against the world, life was an adventure until it became a nightmare. I am so lonely and feel trapped in this place, I don’t feel any sense of home or belonging. Things are material of this world where I don’t want to exist without my husband. I long for that feeling of home, feeling safe and loved, never again will I be home until I we find each other in the afterlife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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