Members dizzydancingway Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Usually I feel okay...great, even. Almost high. Like, "Wow, I must be really strong to handle all this. To lose a mom at 27. To be a source of strength for the rest of my family." And then it hits me out of nowhere and I miss her. I have lots of memories and lots of loving family members I can rely on. But I don't have my mom. Ever since I moved out on my own, my mom would drive up to visit once a month or so. She'd take me on errands and we'd have lunch and talk. The last time she came up to see me, she didn't want to leave. She wanted to walk around my neighborhood, have lunch. She told us (me and my dad) that it "might be my last time here for a while." I never really guessed it would actually be the last time...and I miss all that. I miss her visits. I miss calling her. I miss hearing her, seeing her. The pain just comes and goes endlessly. Seems just as soon as I get used to feeling good again, I have a meltdown and I'm crying myself to sleep for nights on end.I know that the pain is supposed to ease with time, but how long can this cycle last? Feeling good/feeling helpless. Does anyone else know what I mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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