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On edge


Perro J

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I just told my boss that he ought start looking for a new employee because he pissed me off.

He asked me if I was having a bad day and I told him yes.

I don't think I want to work there anymore. I just sent out a resume to a company I used to transact with and admire.

Wonder if I'll have a job come Monday.

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I hope things work out alright for you.  

Grief can effect you differently from day to day.  Some days I would have no patience with anyone about anything as everything felt so pointless.  Other days I was desperate to hang on to any scrap of my former existence, because if I lost one more thing I would shatter into a million pieces. 

It is a very difficult journey.  Nobody can tell you which way is the right path forward.  You need to do what you think is best for yourself. 

Gail

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Very insensitive of your boss to say that, if he was that way before then it may be magnified in the state your in. If he was a previously a great human then maybe take a step back, many people don’t know to act around us or what to say. I wish you the best of luck in finding the the job and environment you can thrive in. You deserve to be surrounded by kindness and peace.

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13 hours ago, Missy1 said:

Very insensitive of your boss to say that,

It could be.  But I have to wonder how it was meant.  If it was, "What's the matter with you? Are you hormonal or something?" that's one thing, but if it was, "You're going through a terrible time. Are you having a particularly bad day today?  Is that why you said that?" that's another.  I'd need a little more background on their employer-employee relationship before condemning him.

In any case, there's clearly more than just this one day.  A new job might be the best thing.  A fresh start working in a more positive environment could be beneficial, especially if the stress of this job is making things worse.

@Perro J  I hope very much that you are able to switch jobs.  It sounds like your current one is no longer healthy for you.  Even though we do all have those days where the slightest thing can set us off, I can't help but think there's more to it with your current boss than just this one day.

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23 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I'd need a little more background on their employer-employee relationship before condemning him.

We miss much about communication when we are missing the tones, how something is said, what preceded it.  We can't know how his boss may have intended it without being there.  The important thing though is HE felt offended and is doing what he feels he needs to for himself, I sure hope his job search works out.  I know these are tough times to get a job depending on your vocation and age...I faced age discrimination in the last recession, because of it I had to retire earlier than I'd intended.  But then my eyes deteriorated to the point I couldn't have kept commuting in the dark anyway, I guess I should have gone for disability, but I know it's hard to get.  Meanwhile they deny it for a couple of years and you live on...what???

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

The important thing though is HE felt offended and is doing what he feels he needs to for himself, I sure hope his job search works out.

Absolutely.  A more positive work environment can be so beneficial at any time and especially now.

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Forever, you're perceptive.

I've been at the company for almost 7 years. For most of that - I had a great boss and pretty easy living. The company itself has never been a great performer - and that is the limitation more than anything. His bad day comment was after I yelled at him and it doesn't bother me. He even cut short that conversation and hung up on me - but that doesn't bother me either. The resentment for the job runs deeper than him and I think you've called it exactly correct. What I seek now is a better environment and I live humbly. I can work at almost any job and make ends meet. Just last week I paid off my car loan and for the first time since my divorce over seven years ago I am completely out of debt. I should be celebrating that because it was such a big goal for me. Yet I cannot because this was supposed to be the time that things got even better. Then came the cancer - and it took her, my inspiration, my motivation, and my joy, away.

My resume is out at two places. More to follow. I have to work. I don't have to work there.

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8 hours ago, Perro J said:

His bad day comment was after I yelled at him and it doesn't bother me. He even cut short that conversation and hung up on me - but that doesn't bother me either. The resentment for the job runs deeper than him and I think you've called it exactly correct. What I seek now is a better environment and I live humbly. I can work at almost any job and make ends meet.

Thank you so much for the explanation.  Even though I know it's not really my business to pry, I had to wonder if it was more than just the one thing and if maybe your boss was only part of it.  I think in part it's because it brought back memories of a job I had in college.  I was a server at a nice family restaurant with a boss who played favorites and was irritating.  I was really good at my job and had a great memory, do I got really high tips.  One of the boss's favorites didn't like that and tried to find little ways to put me down.  It wasn't hostile exactly, but it became intolerable.  Like you, I snapped at my boss when, once again, she said her favorite had complained that I made too much in tips!  I said that was it, I was giving my notice--even though I didn't have another job lined up.

I applied for a teaching job at a small private school and got it.  It wasn't just the change in type of job, it was the change in everything and that made all the difference.

I'll be fingers crossed and sending you all my best thoughts that you get a new job, one that is both fulfilling and positive.  Like you, we've managed to make do with less than we used to have.  "Stuff" doesn't make a life; good people do.  Also like you, I am debt free.  My darling husband made sure there was enough life insurance to pay off the mortgage, have a few projects done, and even have enough left over to buy a basic, but nice car to replace our now 34 year old one (still runs like a champ, but will need very expensive repairs soon).

((hugs))

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I had a feeling it was more than just that one comment, and is as I suspected.  Keep us posted on how the job search goes, we're rooting for you!

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