Fathers 2 year anniversary

[Oceaneyes]

My dads 2 year anniversary is sneaking up. I feel like so many emotions are being brought up i feel angry and sad and it takes me back to how I felt when he passed. I almost feel embarrassed because I feel like people around me expect me to be “better” because its 2 years, but these days I feel like I struggle to get by. My dad died from cancer so it was a slow painful death and I had a front row seat because I was his caretaker. No one around me has dealt with loss of a loved one and it’s hard for people to understand but worst of all it’s lonely. 

[Kevin8988]

Dear Oceaneyes,

Please don't feel lonely.  We here on this forum all have our own grieving, and we understand the pain.

[reader]

Dear Oceaneyes,

Please don't feel embarrassed about your feelings. I can relate to everything you have said. When you are the caretaker of your beloved parent, I feel grief is even deeper and more painful. It was brave and strong of you to care for your dad. No one wants to see their parent suffer or be scared or go through the toughest moments of their lives.

It is lonely when we feel we cannot share our feelings and others have expected us to be better. It's been 4 years since my dad passed and I still have moments where I wish I could go back in time and make different choices. Wish he was here to see his grandchildren grow up.

I found a lot of support at this website for caregivers called Aging Care and at the Grief Healing Blog.

Don't be hard on yourself and keep doing the best you can. And know we are with you at this site.