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Do you ever have days where you just can’t do life?


Tash B

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Do you have days where you just can’t do life? Yesterday was one of those days for me. I bawled my eyes out all fricken day. I ended up going for a drive to the spot where my fiancé and I use to sit and watch the ocean waves hit the rocks and unwind. I sat on a rock and bawled my eyes out for 2.5 hours while I watched the waves hit the rocks. I came home and thought my crying was all done however I started watching videos of my fiancé and it turned into another 2 hours of crying which led me to just cradling his URN ( I’m not ready to spread his ashes yet). It’s just one of those days... where I miss everything about Kase. I miss his laugh, his voice, his cuddles, his smell, bantering with him, his jokes, his beard ( that he loved) and just absolutely everything else. Sorry for the random post I just need to get this off my chest. 

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Oh, you bet I do!  More of them than I care to admit.  I so often feel I should be "doing more" or "doing better" or whatever.  I am trying to stop berating myself for it.  I am trying to think about what I would tell someone close to me and be as kind to myself as I would be to them.

This Monday was one of those lost days.  I couldn't, simply could not, face life and the "to do" list and all of my expectations for myself.

You are not alone in this, not by a long shot.  You don't need me to tell you that it's okay, but maybe it will help to know that everything you're feeling and doing is not just "normal," but usual.

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Yes, and nights too.  Hence my anti-anxiety meds and sleep meds.  I do everything I can to get through this as best as I can...I walk a couple of times a day at least, eat healthy, try to have positive outlook, cry when the tears come, try to keep a healthy balance of activity/friends & solitude, of course COVID has messed that up for all of us.  You're still very early in this, this is a lifelong process, some days we do better than others.  Many people think we're doing okay years out but our lives (and us) are forever changed, how okay can they expect us to be?!  But still I keep trying...as someone else wrote on here, what other choice do we have?

I'm glad you let the tears flow, something healthy in that, better than bottling it up.  We're here, we're listening...

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