Members Ronaldwes Posted July 21, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2020 Hi I hope someone can relate. I lost my dad and my pet companion this past year. It has been a devastating time. My dad had a place out in the country with a little house and a pond that we use to always go the dogs and my dad. It was their favorite place. SInce they passed away I have never been the same. I have no desire to go there anymore. It is just too painful and emotional. I have very vivid pictures in my mind of being there. When they died something in me died also. I know some of my family may see things differently and would like to see me go over there again. I don't and can't do something for someone just to make them feel good. I know that I will never be the same and that's ok. That just shows how much we loved them. I am not being selfish by not going it is just too painful and devastating emotionally. I am what I am , no more no less. I know some people say give it time. I think that is one of those myths also. It may help a little but I know that it will never be what it once was. I hope I am not alone in this. I hope someone can relate. Sometimes people just have to move or change environments just to survive. IT is the hardest to get my family to relate. We are all individuals Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted July 21, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2020 Dear Ronaldwes, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved dad and pet. Always know your feelings are real and valid and normal. It is understandable how going back to the spot where you share so much with your dad and dog is hard. I had the same feelings with my own dad. There are so many places that I avoid because it hurts so much. I found it took me almost 2 years for the intensity of my feelings to lessen. What you are expressing is part of the grief journey. Please know you are not alone. There are many people with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zee24 Posted October 9, 2020 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2020 Hi Ronald, you are right about everything you say and I absolutely agree. Things will not be the same again, how can they be. Also, its not necessary for you to revisit those places. I don’t think it would be helpful and more importantly, if you dont want to and it will cause you additional pain, why should you? time will tell you about what you need to do, whether you need to change your environment or not. Just stay strong and concentrate on getting through the day. If you cant stay strong, that too doesn’t matter because you can try again tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ronaldwes Posted October 9, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2020 Zee, I can’t thank you enough. Just knowing that someone understands what is real for me makes all the different in the world.There are some who would never understand and that’s ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zee24 Posted October 13, 2020 Members Report Share Posted October 13, 2020 Sadly lots of people dont get it and never will and thats okay. Although it annoys me and hurts me constantly, its easier said and done not to care for of course we care. We are here for you. Please dont thank me, we are all so hurt and broken, its the least I can do and if my words eased your suffering even slightly I am glad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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