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holding the anger in


ChristineB

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Its been 11 years since my father passed away when I was 21yo and 4 years since my mother passed. I feel so angry still. At myself at them. My fathers was somewhat expected he was in a nursing home with cirrhosis that caused his organs to fail. I didnt get enough time. My mothers was sudden and I had to make the decision to pull the plug. I still hear the machine flatline and then nothing. Why didn't she tell me she was that sick??? Its been years but I find myself missing them more now. I want them to see how much I've done and hear them say I love you again. But I can't and its tearing me apart right now. Its hard to talk about it when the people around have no idea what im feeling. This is the first time i have reached out. 

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It is difficult for people on the outside to understand what it feels on the inside. I know what you are feeling since my mom died 2 months ago. And ever since the pain has been excruciating.

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