Members Joanne 74 Posted July 18, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2020 Hi everyone I lost my dad on the 6th July, after being admitted to hospital for puenomia he caught covid in hospital, he was 74, I flew home as he was put on end of life care, luckily we got to spend 8 days with him in hospital, we was very lucky to have this opportunity. After 8 days of seeing him in agony and not wanting to go he finally fell asleep for forever, my heart is broken and I know I have many painful days , months, years ahead. How do you learn to cope without making yourself ill with grief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Peony Posted July 18, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2020 Joanne, I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your dad only a few days ago. Those 8 days with him must have been incredibly painful for you, witnessing someone you love with all of your heart deteriorate and pass is the hardest thing for anyone to go through. I had 5 days with my mum in the hospital, 4 and a half of those she was in ICU on life support so I don't know if she knew I was there by her side. I hope so because her biggest fear was hospitals and being sick so I worry that she was anxious and afraid. All we can do is take some comfort in the fact we were by their sides and Im sure in my heart they know we are there, they feel the love from us, it's too powerful not to. I am 6 months into this journey of grief and it is a rollercoaster for sure. It is very early days for you, you are in shock and you have to take one hour, one half day and then one day at a time. Don't think of the future days months and years yet...it's too overwhelming and will make you feel worse. That's what i tell myself and have been told. It helps to talk and cry so don't hold back. make sure you eat and get sleep, lots of self care is needed in the early days. ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Joanne 74 Posted July 19, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 Thank you for the kind words and sorry you lost your mum to Yes we are both lucky to have spent our time with them before they went. I take comfort in hoping my dad heared us all telling him how much he was loved. Again we are blessed we got to have a service for him and for the immediate family to attend. Yes I'm going to take each day as it comes and I have my moments where I just cry for no reason but I guess that will happen alot. Hopefully things get easier for us both, may both be gone but I'm sure both will never be forgotten ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Peony Posted July 22, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2020 I also keep a journal that i write in my thoughts and feelings...also i talk to my mother in it...like a conversation. It helps me very much and I can look back on it in the future to see how far i have come in the grief journey. Take care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wildflower74 Posted August 3, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 3, 2020 Hi Joanne, I also coincidentally have 74 in my username. A significant number for both of us. I'm sorry you lost your dad and you had to see him in pain. I just lost my dad, who was also one of my best friends, July 26th. I have to admit, I feel jealous and bitter that you got 8 days with your dad. They gave us half an hour, HALF AN HOUR, to say goodbye the day he died, after a month in the hospital where we weren't allowed to visit. Luckily we had a good natured nurse who "made several exceptions" and allowed 3 people (instead of the 2 we were supposed to have) to stay for 6 hours total. But he still died alone because they told us we had to leave. I wanted to be there with him when he passed and they didn't let me. This virus is bullshit and I hate it. As you can see my grief is expressing as anger currently. Please know I'm here with you in your grief, and how unbearable it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Joanne 74 Posted August 5, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted August 5, 2020 Hi Wildflower, (hopefully 74 brings us more luck hey) sorry to hear you lost your dad to, it's a dreaded time for akit of families like ours to lose people who where not ready to go. So sorry you never got to be with your dad (unfortunately we wasn't with him at the end due to doctor advising me to go home for the nite and get some rest, he assured me dad would still be there in the morning unfortunately after the call at 5am it took us 15 minutes to arrive and we was to late but he wasn't long gone so I'm positive he heared us there) we was very lucky to spend the last 8 days with him after him being there for 4 weeks (we did video call in that time before we was allowed him and because he was fine we was able to tell him we loved him) I'm back in ireland now and to be honest I'm just numb and shocked can't even cry, feel like he hasn't even gone. I hope you find some peace and know that he knew how much he was loved Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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