Members LTB Posted July 15, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2020 I am exhausted from averaging 4 to 5 hours sleep each night, my mind won't shut off. Each night, I zone out on Cable TV, Netflix, Amazon Prime and Disney, as well as, I'm snacking the whole time. I'm upset I have gained 15 lbs, since my husband's passing in April. I'm working with a Grief Counselor and with my PCP. The Dr just gave me anxiety meds Ativan, but after three days, no sleep change. I know I'm a work in progress. My days are very busy with huge piles of paperwork from three Estate (2 are probated) and selling three houses, so I need to be clear minded. I'm currently packing up the last of three homes, then clean it to put on the market. Three Estates: Dad died June 25, 2019 & Mom died Nov 27, 2019 & Husband died April 2, 2020. Tears of frustration come easily during the day when I'm so tired and events test my patience. This past week, I have encounted many disappointments. I terminated the office assistant, the cleaning girl quit, my niece canceled helping with paperwork due to virus fears, I declined realtor agreement and so much more. It bothers me that very few family and friends check-in on my well being, it's probably my fault since I put on a brave face. The family are waiting for me to finish the paperwork and home sales to collect their inheritance. The only person that truly cared about my wellbeing was my husband, he was always my number one cheerleader. We were married 27 yrs, plus 1 year dating. I deeply miss my sweetheart! My heart physically aches with pain. I checked, it's not a heart attack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 15, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted July 15, 2020 I don't know how anyone handles three estates to settle at once! I am so sorry. And all of these cancellations! I'd need more than Ativan! I'm sorry that's not helping yet, I know medicines can take up to a month (depending on the medicine) to take full effect. I'm on Trazodone 50 mg for sleep and Buspirone 10 mg for anxiety. Two meds I wouldn't do without now. So hard to function w/o sleep! You may need to tell your family you need them and what it is you need/want. They aren't always good at reading in between the lines. I'm glad it's not a heart attack! https://whatsyourgrief.com/physical-grief-symptoms/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted July 16, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 What I found was that at first I couldn’t eat for about a month and then I ate everything because I couldn’t sleep also and I was stressed out I was crying I was looking for comfort and then I suffered a few more huge stress factors and I stopped eating again. My point is that your emotions are in flux and you’re not sure what to do how to feel, nothing is normal be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. A lot of folks on this board mentioned to be careful because in the early stages of grief sometimes we reach for comfort for food alcohol etc. and try to just keep that in check. Now I am barely eating again, appetite gone, it’s like the pain of being hungry feels like I have control over the pain of my loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jwahlquist Posted July 16, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 I had quite the opposite problem. I couldn’t eat. Nothing tastes good and I just wasn’t hungry at all. I probably went 4 days without any food and just drank a bit of water when he first passed away. I lost over 20 pounds. Even taking Zoloft which makes some people gain weight has not impacted my weight. I have now developed an eating routine and try to stick to it. I have cereal and juice for breakfast every day. Lunch Is typically a salad or cheese sticks and juice. And dinner is typically a salad or an easy to fix meal like tacos or grill cheese sandwich. For me the routine has helped me develop healthier eating habits as it forces me to remember to eat. Maybe developing a routine for your eating would help? Or try portion control like buying the small bags of chips instead of the large ones? Maybe healthy and low calorie snacks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 16, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 12 hours ago, Missy1 said: What I found was that at first I couldn’t eat for about a month and then I ate everything That was how I responded too...I ended up way overweight and have now lost 60 lbs, down to where I was when I first met George. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Selma0409 Posted July 18, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 18, 2020 On 7/15/2020 at 9:01 PM, Missy1 said: What I found was that at first I couldn’t eat for about a month and then I ate everything because I couldn’t sleep also and I was stressed out I was crying I was looking for comfort and then I suffered a few more huge stress factors and I stopped eating again. My point is that your emotions are in flux and you’re not sure what to do how to feel, nothing is normal be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. A lot of folks on this board mentioned to be careful because in the early stages of grief sometimes we reach for comfort for food alcohol etc. and try to just keep that in check. Now I am barely eating again, appetite gone, it’s like the pain of being hungry feels like I have control over the pain of my loss. That happened to me too. At first I ate nothing, I didn't sleep much for the first 6 months, I started taking pills and It helped, I am now stoping the sleeping pills but I eat my feelings. I feel anxious and eat all the time to forget the sadness and after overeating I feel with such regret and more sadness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 18, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted July 18, 2020 I was diagnosed with Diabetes 10 1/2 years ago. The doctors didn't give me any direction and the Medical, Diabetic, and Cardiac associations gave wrong direction...I tried eating low fat, counting calories, you name it, I couldn't get the weight off after stuffing my emotions for a few years after George died. A friend from a grief group told me about his Diabetic Group, and since he was someone I respected, I went there and joined. My blood sugar went higher with the death of my dog, and wouldn't come down. I'd lurked there for a year until seven months after my dog's diagnosis and subsequent death and my numbers still hadn't come down. I knew what I needed to do and finally took the plunge, losing 60 lbs, I'm at goal and my numbers are all good now! It does feel good to take control of something in my life I CAN control...esp. after feeling so much of my life was beyond my control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Selma0409 Posted July 19, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 10 hours ago, KayC said: I was diagnosed with Diabetes 10 1/2 years ago. The doctors didn't give me any direction and the Medical, Diabetic, and Cardiac associations gave wrong direction...I tried eating low fat, counting calories, you name it, I couldn't get the weight off after stuffing my emotions for a few years after George died. A friend from a grief group told me about his Diabetic Group, and since he was someone I respected, I went there and joined. My blood sugar went higher with the death of my dog, and wouldn't come down. I'd lurked there for a year until seven months after my dog's diagnosis and subsequent death and my numbers still hadn't come down. I knew what I needed to do and finally took the plunge, losing 60 lbs, I'm at goal and my numbers are all good now! It does feel good to take control of something in my life I CAN control...esp. after feeling so much of my life was beyond my control. That's great, I admire your dedication, trying to get better you did it! Not many people do it successfully. I gained 20 lbs with grief and I am trying to stop but It is difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BBB Posted July 19, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 My loss was a gradual one. At first when she was around, I coped by eating and gained 20 pounds. Lately it's been the opposite, don't want to eat. It's been a roller coaster for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 19, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted July 19, 2020 I found this article on Eating Your Way Through Grief...very common! It's also common to NOT want to eat. Either way, Grief affects our eating patterns... https://whatsyourgrief.com/managing-grief-and-comfort-eating/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Selma0409 Posted July 20, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 20, 2020 3 hours ago, KayC said: I found this article on Eating Your Way Through Grief...very common! It's also common to NOT want to eat. Either way, Grief affects our eating patterns... https://whatsyourgrief.com/managing-grief-and-comfort-eating/ Very interesting article, thank you so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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