Friend channeling the dead

[LTB]

My husband died accidentally on April 2, 2020.  Additionally, Dad died June 25th, and Mom died Nov 17th, both in 2019.  I was our parents full-time caregiver for 4.5 years until their recent passing.  My husband and I lived in different states, so I could be caregiver and he continued working until retirement 4/13/2019, after 34 years on the job.  We were going to move into a Retirement Community last month, on June 1st.

A friend of six years showed up at my front door last week Thursday.  We stood six feet apart outside the door, while she placed the following items on the dirty ground and explained each item.  She said, my husband, Jack told her to buy a dozen roses for me, Mom said to buy eggplant for me and Dad said to buy King crab legs for me, because they each wanted me to know that I am loved.

Thank goodness I was wearing my mask, to hide my stunned facial expression.

That evening I wrote her the following:  "I know you understand that I'm struggling with the sudden death of my life partner, Jack.  Today, I need to be honest with you; therefore, please understand when I explain that I'm not currently comfortable with you sharing anything you receive from Jack or my parents.

Maybe in the future I will be ready to receive this type of communication thru you; however, the startling revelations are too painful right now."

I am shocked a friend would bring white/red roses to a grieving widow and say your dead husband told me to buy these and tell you that you're loved.

My first thought was, I don't want flowers, I want my husband.  Then I thought, why is he talking to my friend and not to me, he wasn't even close to her.

I'm finding people just don't understand the grief for a spouse and I am trying my best to be nice.

[KayC]

7 hours ago, LTB said:

why is he talking to my friend and not to me

I'm afraid I would be just as aghast as you!  In my beliefs we don't communicate with spirits in that way, but that's a whole different topic that I don't want to get into, do not wish to offend or discuss with others here.  At any rate, if they did want to talk to us, they know where we are, so yes, why someone they weren't close to instead of us?  I would appreciate her well-meaning intention, I'm sure she believes what she's saying and wanted to make you feel better, but at this point the only thing that would make us "feel better" is being reunited with them!  Some things friends just can't fix, no matter how much they might want to.

[LTB]

I know I need to be patient with her and others when they are trying to make me feel better, but it's very difficult, especially on rollercoaster tearful days.

[Missy1]

I do know that there are people in this world that can communicate with the spiritual realm. That being said I’m also very scientific and very logical and highly educated. When I was very young I had many  disturbing nightmares and saw creatures visit me from very young. It was disturbing so my parents sent me to a psychiatrist and other’s who gave me multiple tests and determined that I had some kind of a ESP ability and a very high IQ and had no other issues . I have received messages from people who have died or or about to die. I learned to stop talking about it, people can’t understand.  I don’t want to be a person who can travel or see spirits, I just did it. Now that my husband has passed away I’ve had a couple of amazing experiences and visitations with him but my grief is so heavy and painful I can’t communicate with him at will and I don’t know if they can.

These dreams and communications were highly discouraged when I was younger because of my religion. I would never ever take these communications to someone who is suffering hurting especially the way that woman did it I don’t believe that she even received any communication. That is not how it works!
I met someone at my husband’s funeral memorial whose son had died from an overdose (22 yrs old) . A genuine psychic/medium had received a message from him (dead son) with a detailed letter to his mother. This lady had no idea who this message was from  or who to contact to deliver except very minimal details. She found her (the Mom) delivered the message and the details were some thing with nobody could have ever known! No money was exchanged, there is a spirit world they are in a different realm. 

i have visited this in between world/realm, I hate sharing this, people are cynical, I have nothing to gain. I have a very high IQ and mentally healthy. I just want to share with people here, there IS another realm/heaven/nirvana. They DO retain their consciousness, no ones how or why.... but  they do, they are with us when we need them and we Will see them when when we die!  

 

 

[KayC]

10 hours ago, Missy1 said:

They DO retain their consciousness, no ones how or why

I believe that.

[widower2]

On 7/14/2020 at 6:23 AM, LTB said:

My husband died accidentally on April 2, 2020.  Additionally, Dad died June 25th, and Mom died Nov 17th, both in 2019.  I was our parents full-time caregiver for 4.5 years until their recent passing.  My husband and I lived in different states, so I could be caregiver and he continued working until retirement 4/13/2019, after 34 years on the job.  We were going to move into a Retirement Community last month, on June 1st.

A friend of six years showed up at my front door last week Thursday.  We stood six feet apart outside the door, while she placed the following items on the dirty ground and explained each item.  She said, my husband, Jack told her to buy a dozen roses for me, Mom said to buy eggplant for me and Dad said to buy King crab legs for me, because they each wanted me to know that I am loved.

Thank goodness I was wearing my mask, to hide my stunned facial expression.

That evening I wrote her the following:  "I know you understand that I'm struggling with the sudden death of my life partner, Jack.  Today, I need to be honest with you; therefore, please understand when I explain that I'm not currently comfortable with you sharing anything you receive from Jack or my parents.

Maybe in the future I will be ready to receive this type of communication thru you; however, the startling revelations are too painful right now."

I am shocked a friend would bring white/red roses to a grieving widow and say your dead husband told me to buy these and tell you that you're loved.

My first thought was, I don't want flowers, I want my husband.  Then I thought, why is he talking to my friend and not to me, he wasn't even close to her.

I'm finding people just don't understand the grief for a spouse and I am trying my best to be nice.

It is unfortunately not uncommon from what I can tell for people to say/do the worst and dumbest of things at times like this, even with best of intentions. I think you handled it very politely and frankly maybe a bit better than your friend deserved (or I would have been).  That said, there may come a time when "nice" doesn't cut it and you need to be blunt about telling them to back off. Someone imposing their "afterlife beliefs" on you is grossly irresponsible and inconsiderate if not flat out obnoxious, and good intentions don't make that OK. 

 

 

[SSC]

@Missy1 I’m very envious of your ability to connect with the “other side”.  I’m so happy you’ve experienced positive visitations from your husband.  I’d give anything to have this affirmation.