Members pike Posted July 11, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 I lost the love of my life 2/9/2011, 12:37PM. I've been totally lost since! The hospital she was in released her and sent us home when she was still having these terrible pains in her stomach! They just gave her a shot of morophene and sent us out the door! The next mourning she was almost incoherent. I called 911, they took her, (still in pain) to a different hospital who after a CT scan said she had a perforated bowel and was in pretty bad shape & couldn't perform the emergency surgery she needed so they were going to send her to the hospital that released her the day before but they said it'd be better if she was at a hospital in the city that would be better equipped to handle it so they sent her there. They said that it was too late, they refused to perform the emergency surgery and the next day after praying, speaking to her normal doctor and then our pastors I let them take her off the ventilator and the dozen or so IVs & left her in Gods hands. She lasted only a minuet and was gone! We were so in love! Every day I fell deeper in love with her and she did me too! I still catch myself saying, "I can't believe it!" even now, months after I lost her I've still been falling deeper in love with her only now it has turned into such a deep, deep pain! I never was one of those (me, I, my) kind of people! I've always looked out for others and since I took care of my beloved Robin Denise which I was just so glad that she was being well taken care of, I never really took much time to think about myself! I was so happy to have such a wonderful wife in every way! Now I find myself totally alone and although I've came a long way I still miss her so much! I still cry every day. Not as long but do several times through the day! I go to the cemetery every day, sometimes twice if I feel the need to! It's kind of like a sanctuary for me! I planted her favorite (red tea rose) plant and placed a hanging basket of petunias on a shepherds hook. Some stole them!I'm so ready for my life to end now! This world has NOTHING for me now! I'm in NO WAY suicidal or anything like that! I'm just ready now! I lay in bed after I wake up wanting to fall back to sleep. I just came to realize that was because asleep I don't have to deal with reality! ME??? Me not wanting to deal with reality??? I'm the guy who ALWAYS embraced reality nomatter what it was! Man has this changed me! My beloved Robin Denise taught me what true unconditional love is! She was such a special person! So honest, full of life and always laughing! I WAS one of those cloun around guys who was always able to get that sweet laugh out of her! Now she's gone! I don't know what God has in store for me now but I DON'T want another! I will be buried with this ring on my finger! I only hope that God doesn't make me wait too long! I could go on and on but I'm not going to! I just want this all to be over asp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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