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How can I meet his friends?


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My partner died two weeks ago, we only had the chance to be together for four months. We met in emergency housing for different reasons and didn't leave eachothers side. 

In the painfully short time we were together no one from his past contacted him, nor did he ever really speak about them. He would curse his hometown and all those that were there. Now he is gone, and I have all his friends, who I have never met, contacting me saying how awful they feel and how they loved him so much. But how could they? None of them were there for him, none of them had even seen or spoken to him in at least 3 years as he was homeless before I met him. Now I'm receiving messages from people looking for comfort and I cannot help but feel so angry, upset and alone.

How can I speak with these people, let alone meet them, when they look at me as if I have no right to be heartbroken but they do?

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I am so sorry you lost your partner.  So hard to just find love, only to lose it so soon afterwards.

There is always more than one perspective, he was seeing his, they are seeing theirs.  They knew him a long time, perhaps not in the way you did, but perhaps in way you didn't also.  It wouldn't hurt to talk to them one by one at some point and perhaps glimpse another part of him that you hadn't known.  Who knows if they even knew where he was or what had happened to him?  And who knows what happened to cause the gulf between them.  So fresh for you right now, I would issue a brief statement to each that you are not up to talking now but perhaps on down the road.

Meanwhile, welcome to this group.  This is a safe place to express yourselves, with others who "get it."  I wish none of us had reason to be here though.  :(

You may feel as if they're looking at you as if you have no right to be heartbroken, but that may not be what's in their thoughts, they may be wondering something quite different, like, "how is it this person is so close to him and yet I, a friend for years, didn't even know what happened to him?"

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