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The hardest thing...


Kelly

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What is the hardest thing right now for you during this time?

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It still doesn't even feel real to say my dad is no longer alive. He caught covid on Christmas along with several other members of my family and he was hospitalized Jan. 6. He was the only one who had to be. He was having a rough time recovering because of some other diseases. And then he had a stroke that put him in a coma he would not wake up from. My dad had no underlying conditions except for being a big and tall guy. I keep thinking in my head this wasn't supposed to happen, like this is a bad dream I can't wake up from and I have never dealt with the loss of someone so close to me before. I have no idea what to do with myself and how to cope.

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My husband was taken from me 1/14/21. It's still raw. I don't know what to do with myself. His service is 2/2/21 and I don't know how I'm going to make it through that day. I am working from home right now, trying to distract myself, but it's times like this that I am soooo sad and my tears are flowing as I'm typing this. Does this get any easier? I feel like nobody understands and I physically hurt. I'm ok for one minute, then I'm racked with guilt because I sent him a very nasty text and now I'll never be able to take those words back or read his response.....It's not fair, I feel like I'm dying inside. I'm not a very religious person, but I am spiritual. I am calling on Him for comfort and am waiting for some relief.

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My husband passed away on January 23rd and my Father passed away a week later. Everyone in our house tested positive for Covid. My Mom and I got better, but my husband and my Dad didn't. I lost the two most important people in my life. I'm broken.....

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On 2/4/2021 at 11:09 PM, MissyLaLaLa said:

My husband passed away on January 23rd and my Father passed away a week later. Everyone in our house tested positive for Covid. My Mom and I got better, but my husband and my Dad didn't. I lost the two most important people in my life. I'm broken.....

Missy, I'm really to read of your sudden and tragic loss of two men so important in your life.  My wife passed two weeks earlier than your husband as a result of complications from a recent surgery.  I hate we're both members of an awful club.  I admire the strength you have to post some of what you have and wish I could say something more to help guide you through this horrible process.

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I think the quietness of death is the hardest part for me; silence where there was once Life, Joy. Sometimes I feel I am drowning in that quiet; and I panic like a desperate, air-starved swimmer trying to reach the surface for breath before suffocation overtakes me. Those are horrifying moments; but blessedly things are looking brighter to me lately as I put into practice counsel I have received. It takes work, this overcoming grief; but there really is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep going. @TLN.

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That my mom left me, she committed suicide around the time my Dad went into hospice for pancreatic cancer.

Why didn’t anyone help her?

Why couldn’t she get better, after years of living with depression and getting treatments and relapses...

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Dear TLN, 

I agree with you completely. I too struggle with the silence but like you try to go forward each day the best we can. (((hugs)))

Dear Jacx,

I'm so sorry, I know it's horribly hard. Thinking of you.

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