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It’s been 11 days since my baby girl passed.


I love my Basset Hound

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I love my Basset Hound

I can’t handle this grief I’m feeling. It feels as if it still happened today. I miss her so much. Today was my first day going back to work from the pandemic and I dreaded coming home because I know she won’t be there to bark and run the the stairs wagging her tail and waking up everyone in the house. Just holding her after a long hard day completes me. I don’t want to get use to it like this. I’m so depress and nothing can make me happy. I just can’t wait to die and be with her already. I want to hold her and kiss her. She left trying to fight for her life and it just kills me that I wasn’t there. I trusted this vet and took full advantage and gave me hope she’s doing better but next day to pick her up she passed. I’m exhausted being mad and upset but can’t help myself because it won’t bring her back. Thinking of what I should’ve and could’ve is hurtful and this pain of guilt I can’t let go. I miss you baby girl. I’ve spent 12 and half years from when she was just 2 months old and now she’s gone. I sleep with her urn and paw prints crying myself to sleep holding it tight because it makes me feel close to her. I dont have a life with out her and just to think of having another dog makes me feel more guilty. It’s not fair for other dogs that needs the love but for now I’m really just not ready. I love you Honey Girl. You are my world.

 

 

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I know what you are saying.  Arlie had the most delighted squeal when I'd come home, he'd get so excited and jump up on the gate, oh God I miss that!  Kodie gets excited too and spins around but he doesn't have Arlie's squeal.  

Please understand that one dog does not replace another, yet we do feel guilty getting another, but just tell her no one will ever replace her.  Sometimes I feel I'm not fair to Kodie because my heart is so much with Arlie, but I have a place in my heart for both of them, they're very different.  Arlie will always be my soulmate in a dog, my heart dog, but I am coming to love Kodie tremendously and don't know what I'd do without him in my life...I believe Arlie orchestrated this somehow.  He was conceived when Arlie died, and born on my birthday.  He's a rare dog and hard to find, yet my son found him in sleepy little Aumsville, two miles from his house!  He was only $800 and usually they're $3,500 and you have to be on a year's waiting list and fly them into your state, sight unseen.  Paul got to meet the mom and the dad both which is also very rare, and I've been able to keep up with the breeder, so that's been a plus.  All of this is too much for coincidence to me!  I've seen the clip from A Dog's Purpose and want to watch it but don't feel quite ready but have it on DVR for when I'm ready.

I also feel the same regrets you do...I was with Arlie when he died but the shot was excruciating for him and I saw the worst look on his face I'd ever seen, I can't forgive the vet for screwing up so badly.  :(

 

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I love my Basset Hound

Thank you so much for your respond and I’m so sorry for the way he passed. I’d lose it and probably would be in jail after seeing that honestly. I admire your strength. I just got home from work and it’s day 2 without hearing her run down the stairs running to me and barking at me when I got home right now. It hurts and I still have the habit of opening the door slowly so I don’t wake her and surprise her and kiss her softly as she sleeps. Oh god I miss that so much. Each time I get home late from work It’s hard to get to her without waking her up but when I do it’s one of those moments that It’s just me and her and the world doesn’t exist. It was our moment and watching her wake up slowly and her tail wagging slowly to fast and her howling, oh god I miss that so much I just can’t live without her thinking about. Thank you again for taking time out and sharing your story. You helped me through this process of grieving and want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. [emoji120]


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It takes quite some time before our daily habits/rituals being absent become a norm for our lives and thus not hit in the gut with their absence daily.  I can't say when, I'm sure it's different for everyone.  Arlie was very much a part of my everyday life, my life literally revolved around him.  I'm more used to it now but I'm afraid the loving and missing him continues still even though on the 16th it'll be ten months...it's hard for me to believe I've survived that long.  From the moment I laid eyes on him in the newspaper (he was a rescue), I knew he had to be mine!  And I cherished each day, each moment with him.  I feel he deserved so much more than I was able to give him, I'm older and don't camp anymore, but I loved him more than anything in the world and I think honestly that's what they need the most.

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MyLittleMan

I so understand, my Yorkiepoo was killed in front of me and he died in my arms.....I feel like dying, I feel helpless and no one understands me all I hear is time heals all. Yet, I don't think I am strong enough to get through this

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@MyLittleMan  I am so sorry.  I just met someone on the phone yesterday with a Yorkie, also from N. Carolina.  This is the hardest thing I know, losing our best friend.  My precious soulmate in a dog, Arlie, died Aug. 16, he was suffering from cancer.  I got his diagnosis of inoperable cancer June 7 (a year ago today), the results of blood test and OV June 6th.  I miss him tremendously.  I had two month ten days after diagnosis, but I think I was still somewhat in shock as it still hit me full force and I'd had over two months to process it...I don't think there IS getting over it but trying to absorb it little by little.  I don't understand for the life of me, how someone so sweet and innocent can just lose their life.  He was the best dog in the world, and I know you feel the same way about yours.  You are in my thoughts and prayers as I know how hard this is.  4 1/2 months later I lost 25 year old Kitty.  I don't know why I thought she'd live forever but she proved me wrong.  I lost their sister 6/3/16, now our family of four is just me.  My son brought me a puppy before Christmas and that has helped by giving me incentive to continue and someone to love, but we all know, one never replaces another, no matter how cute or endearing.  I think he saved my life as I cannot imagine going through this pandemic totally alone, hard enough without humans, but at least I've had Kodie to take up my time.

I am glad your little Yorkie had you with him when he passed, at least he knew your love and caring were with him.  (((hugs)))

I want to leave you with this also, in the hopes that it brings you some comfort.

 

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Hi @I love my Basset Hound I am so sorry for your loss. I completely get how you feel. The whole world was dark and unhappy without our cat when he passed away. And, the worst part, he died very suddenly after getting violently sick and was in pain. It was the most horrible thing to hold him until the vet finally put him down.

I have such guilt and it's taken me a long time to try to deal with it. 

I also felt VERY guilty adopting a new cat a few months later but I couldn't take life without one. I cried shopping for food and toys for the new cat!! This has been a long process for me. I have reached a place of somewhat peace although I try to remember all the good times and not my cats last hours. And I love my new cat so much too now without guilt. Glad to give her a home. I you find the same. And eventually when you are ready, love another dog. So many need homes. It's no betrayal and you were a good owner to your sweet dog.  

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I love my Basset Hound
Hi [mention=415404]I love my Basset Hound[/mention] I am so sorry for your loss. I completely get how you feel. The whole world was dark and unhappy without our cat when he passed away. And, the worst part, he died very suddenly after getting violently sick and was in pain. It was the most horrible thing to hold him until the vet finally put him down.
I have such guilt and it's taken me a long time to try to deal with it. 
I also felt VERY guilty adopting a new cat a few months later but I couldn't take life without one. I cried shopping for food and toys for the new cat!! This has been a long process for me. I have reached a place of somewhat peace although I try to remember all the good times and not my cats last hours. And I love my new cat so much too now without guilt. Glad to give her a home. I you find the same. And eventually when you are ready, love another dog. So many need homes. It's no betrayal and you were a good owner to your sweet dog.  

Thank you. I really appreciate you sharing your story and I’m sorry for your lost. Thank you again. [emoji120]


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