Loss of a mother figure at early age affect my life

[hazhal]

       In november 2007,lost my only mom due to TB,,i was only 5years old when she left me.i can remember spending huge amount of time with my dad n my siblings in hospital to take care of my mother.Now that im 18 years old, I realised that my grief become even more worse than before.My childhood felt really empty...

Between age 8-13,i remember everytime my father left me at my relatives's house for work,i constantly had stomach ache due to stress or anxiety every night..I always cry in the toilet while everybody was asleep.

I really hate other kids that always complaining about their parent over small things.

I always daydreaming and imagine having mother at home after I'm back from school..seeing my friend and cousin with their parents during holidays always breaks my heart.I will just smile in front of them.

Actually i have a lot to share but I'm afraid no one will read it.. I just feel like i need someone to talk to or someone that ask me or tell me more about my mom instead of saying "I'm sorry for your lost".

Or please give me some advice or share your experience so that i doesn't feel this experience alone.

i really want to tell you guys that even if  i lost my mother at an early age and doesn't have much memory about her,,it does not mean i will get trough this easier just like everyone expect..

Thank You If you read until here...

 

 

 

[reader]

Dear hazhal,

Please know you can write as much as you want about your beloved mom here. We are all here to listen to each other and support each other as much as we can. How we each grieve the loss of our parent will be unique. 

When I was grieving, I found these websites were also helpful in understanding my feelings. 

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

Take care and know we are with you.