My Father passed away and I feel responsible

[Steve Heck]

My Father Richard Allan Heck went to be with Lord on April 30th/May 1st somewhere in the night or early in the morning. He lived with type 2 diabetes for 25+ years and he experienced the up's and downs with it over the years but enjoyed life to the fullest everyday. The last night I spent with my Dad we were cleaning our car wash walls together and when we were done I took him home and dropped him off like I have done in the past but sometimes I would come in and have dinner and watch TV with him for hours then go to my home, but on this night I just dropped him off told him "God Bless You and "I Love You" and I'll talk to you in the morning. Unfortunately that would be the last time I would talk to my Dad I usually got a call every morning at 9am but on May 1st I never got that call so I raced over to his apartment to find him partially in his lazy boy even after calling 911 and doing CPR on him I knew he was gone but didn't want to believe it I kept doing CPR on him until the paramedics arrived and they told me he was gone, in the past I had always pulled him out of diabetic attacks but I blame myself because if I had just came inside that night and had dinner and watched TV with him this may not have happened. My family keeps telling me it wasn't my fault or it was his time, stop blaming yourself. Even a day later I'm a total wreck because my Dad was my Best Friend, my Comfort, My Counselor, My Everything and now I have nothing except the comfort of God and now my life is forever changed because my Dad was involved in my life everyday and I would give anything to either be with him or bring him back.

[reader]

Dear Steve,

I am sorry for your loss.  From everything you have written no son could have cared for or loved his dad more. Thinking of you and your family during this sad and difficult time. I found this article helped me after my dad's passing. 

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/01/guilt-in-wake-of-parents-death.html

Be patient with yourself during this raw time.

Sending my thoughts and prayers.