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I guess.


nikki8731

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I guess I just want to let everyone know, you're not alone in the pain you currently feel..

I need to vent and get this all off my chest. Whether anyone responds or not, it doesn't matter..

I lost my significant other of 4 years, though he wasn't just that to me.

He was the father of our two children and my best friend.

He was in a fatal car accident on September 27th, 2010 at 1:05 AM involving two others, one of whom also died.

The girl driving the car NEVER received ANY charges.

She still has her license along with another car.

Talk about fair.

I was in Florida seeing my side of the family when it happened.

He never even got to hold his newborn son.

The pain and regret I feel for having gone to Florida to see my family, is excruciating.

I feel like I will never, and I mean never, be able to move on from this.

Every night I have terrible night terrors about my deceased partner.

I even recently put my children in his mother's care so that I may get on my feet once again because right now, I am not best for my children.

I feel like a failure for not being strong.

And I feel like even more of failure for not saving him.

I just need to vent, I guess.

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I guess I just want to let everyone know, you're not alone in the pain you currently feel..

I need to vent and get this all off my chest. Whether anyone responds or not, it doesn't matter..

I lost my significant other of 4 years, though he wasn't just that to me.

He was the father of our two children and my best friend.

He was in a fatal car accident on September 27th, 2010 at 1:05 AM involving two others, one of whom also died.

The girl driving the car NEVER received ANY charges.

She still has her license along with another car.

Talk about fair.

I was in Florida seeing my side of the family when it happened.

He never even got to hold his newborn son.

The pain and regret I feel for having gone to Florida to see my family, is excruciating.

I feel like I will never, and I mean never, be able to move on from this.

Every night I have terrible night terrors about my deceased partner.

I even recently put my children in his mother's care so that I may get on my feet once again because right now, I am not best for my children.

I feel like a failure for not being strong.

And I feel like even more of failure for not saving him.

I just need to vent, I guess.

Nikki, there's no way you can blame yourself for what happened to him. Your moving to Florida did nothing to affect how his life played out. You're going to make yourself sick over telling yourself, "If I would've just been in town that weekend, he wouldn't have been in that car."

Blaming yourself for something that is out of your hands is preposterous. But unfortunately, nothing anyone will say to you will ever make it better, No matter how many websites like this one you go to. The tools you need to break your depression aren't in another person's possession, only your own. The thing you have to realize, is even though you are hurt and angry, that you are not alone. Even though you feel alone, there is always someone out there who loves you more than anything. The only way to fill that empty void of pain and sadness is with love. I've experienced my own story, similar to yours, but I lost my girlfriend as well. The only thing that has helped me fill my void, was love towards others. True love can only heal you, never hurt you.

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