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too much pain


Brittany

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My name is Brittany, i was a senior in highschool this year. everyone always says that your senior year is sapposed to be the best year and it was, up untill january 3rd. that was the day my friend stuart was murdered:'( i have known him since i was 3 years old and he was just like a brother to me. he was taken from us january third by a man robbing him... it has been months but the pain hasnt gotten easier like everyone says it will, everyday i miss him more and more. it is the hardest thing to loose someone in such a terrible way. a month after his death, on february 3rd we found out my mother has colon cancer... It is stage 4:'( i just dont know how to deal with this.. its all just too much pain no one should have to go through

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My name is Brittany, i was a senior in highschool this year. everyone always says that your senior year is sapposed to be the best year and it was, up untill january 3rd. that was the day my friend stuart was murdered:'( i have known him since i was 3 years old and he was just like a brother to me. he was taken from us january third by a man robbing him... it has been months but the pain hasnt gotten easier like everyone says it will, everyday i miss him more and more. it is the hardest thing to loose someone in such a terrible way. a month after his death, on february 3rd we found out my mother has colon cancer... It is stage 4:'( i just dont know how to deal with this.. its all just too much pain no one should have to go through

Hi Brittany,

I am very sorry about the loss of Stuart, and I am also sorry about your mother's illness. I can certainly understand how difficult this year has been for you; losing someone you care about and then having your mother deal with such a difficult illness would bring just about anyone down, regardless of age.

So, how has your mother coped with her illness? Does she have a good care team or are you having to do much of her care? Do you have other family members to lean on? What about friends? Are there any school counselors that would be willing to talk to you even though you've graduated?

Are you having trouble with Stuart's death because it seems so senseless? Or because of the violence? Or a combination of factors? I know you loved him like a brother, and that in itself makes the whole situation so difficult. My real brother died in a car wreck when I was 14, and one of my best friends died two years later when he fell off of a cliff. It was awful.

Do you and your mother talk about her illness? Are you afraid? You can talk about how you feel here.

I am sorry I did not get back with you sooner, but I was terribly ill this weekend and unable to even move for most of the time (some stupid bug).

I look forward to getting to know you better.

ModKonnie

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Hi Brittany,

I am very sorry about the loss of Stuart, and I am also sorry about your mother's illness. I can certainly understand how difficult this year has been for you; losing someone you care about and then having your mother deal with such a difficult illness would bring just about anyone down, regardless of age.

So, how has your mother coped with her illness? Does she have a good care team or are you having to do much of her care? Do you have other family members to lean on? What about friends? Are there any school counselors that would be willing to talk to you even though you've graduated?

Are you having trouble with Stuart's death because it seems so senseless? Or because of the violence? Or a combination of factors? I know you loved him like a brother, and that in itself makes the whole situation so difficult. My real brother died in a car wreck when I was 14, and one of my best friends died two years later when he fell off of a cliff. It was awful.

Do you and your mother talk about her illness? Are you afraid? You can talk about how you feel here.

I am sorry I did not get back with you sooner, but I was terribly ill this weekend and unable to even move for most of the time (some stupid bug).

I look forward to getting to know you better.

ModKonnie

my mother seems to be coping alright but i dont know if he is just trying to be strong for us kids. her husband is taking care of her, i wish i was but a few weeks ago my stepdad kicked me out over some stupid stuff. he was actually being mean to my mom and i defended her and he kicked me out.... it hurts to be away from her especially because of the reason im not. it hurts me to even have to be aroud thatt man when i go to see my mom but i have to swallow my pride and act likke everything is ok because i will do anything to avoid stressing my mom. i was just there today and had to restrain myself because he was being quite rude but like i said i dont want to stress my mom. i do have family members to talk to and i was just living with stuarts family for a few months sice i got kicked out. it was nice being there because i could talk to them all about everything. i have the most amazing best friend lucy. she was stuarts girlfriend and we are always there for eachother. i have talked to counselors but i just moved today with my grandparent in a different town..

my feelig for stuarts death vary from time to time. sometime i will see a picture or just have my mind wondering an start crying. sometimes its because of the anger i have that someone could take the life of such an amazinly wonderful perso who had his whole life ahead of him, other times i just cant believe he is actually gone and i relize this is reality and he wont be back:'( ..... i am sorry to hear abut your brother and best friend that is terrible....

me and my mother have talked about her illness but i feel like she trys to make it seem not as bad as it really is.. i think she is afraid to think about it.. and yes i am terrified, i hate the though of loosing my mom and it scares me more than anythig my mom is my world and i cant imagin my life without her..

its ok you didnt answer fast i appriciate that you even did, i look forwar to talking to you also

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my mother seems to be coping alright but i dont know if he is just trying to be strong for us kids. her husband is taking care of her, i wish i was but a few weeks ago my stepdad kicked me out over some stupid stuff. he was actually being mean to my mom and i defended her and he kicked me out.... it hurts to be away from her especially because of the reason im not. it hurts me to even have to be aroud thatt man when i go to see my mom but i have to swallow my pride and act likke everything is ok because i will do anything to avoid stressing my mom. i was just there today and had to restrain myself because he was being quite rude but like i said i dont want to stress my mom. i do have family members to talk to and i was just living with stuarts family for a few months sice i got kicked out. it was nice being there because i could talk to them all about everything. i have the most amazing best friend lucy. she was stuarts girlfriend and we are always there for eachother. i have talked to counselors but i just moved today with my grandparent in a different town..

my feelig for stuarts death vary from time to time. sometime i will see a picture or just have my mind wondering an start crying. sometimes its because of the anger i have that someone could take the life of such an amazinly wonderful perso who had his whole life ahead of him, other times i just cant believe he is actually gone and i relize this is reality and he wont be back:'( ..... i am sorry to hear abut your brother and best friend that is terrible....

me and my mother have talked about her illness but i feel like she trys to make it seem not as bad as it really is.. i think she is afraid to think about it.. and yes i am terrified, i hate the though of loosing my mom and it scares me more than anythig my mom is my world and i cant imagin my life without her..

its ok you didnt answer fast i appriciate that you even did, i look forwar to talking to you also

Hey,

I know Lucy. I have been talking with her for months. You are right--she is a great person, and I think she will move forward in time and do positive things with her life.

I wrote you a note up in the other post. I wasn't sure what the situation was between your mother and her husband. I feel bad for your mother and you. I imagine she is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Are you working? How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? And can your mother go live with your grandmother with you? Would she?

Tell your mom and your grandmother how scared you are and how you feel. Be sure and tell your mother openly that you love her. She NEEDS to hear that.

So, what exactly is going on with your mother? What have they told her? Is she still going through treatments? Tell her you must know exactly what is going on. Tell her she can talk to you and she doesn't have to be strong for you if you want her to tell you the truth. Openly discussing what happens next may give you both a measure of peace and help you both plan for the future.

This is a terrible situation for all of you, but the important thing is to make sure that each of you know how much you love each other. Please continue to come here no matter what. We want to be there for you.

I will be waiting to hear from you,

ModKonnie

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Hey,

I know Lucy. I have been talking with her for months. You are right--she is a great person, and I think she will move forward in time and do positive things with her life.

I wrote you a note up in the other post. I wasn't sure what the situation was between your mother and her husband. I feel bad for your mother and you. I imagine she is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Are you working? How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? And can your mother go live with your grandmother with you? Would she?

Tell your mom and your grandmother how scared you are and how you feel. Be sure and tell your mother openly that you love her. She NEEDS to hear that.

So, what exactly is going on with your mother? What have they told her? Is she still going through treatments? Tell her you must know exactly what is going on. Tell her she can talk to you and she doesn't have to be strong for you if you want her to tell you the truth. Openly discussing what happens next may give you both a measure of peace and help you both plan for the future.

This is a terrible situation for all of you, but the important thing is to make sure that each of you know how much you love each other. Please continue to come here no matter what. We want to be there for you.

I will be waiting to hear from you,

ModKonnie

i am only 18 i just graduated highschool, i dont have a job yet i am doing babysitting for family throughout the summer. and no my mom wouldnt move in with my grandmother she wants to be with her husband and she has made it clear. i have talked to my mom about how scared i am and how much i love her i cant even count how many times. i know she needs to hear that i love her i always say it i always have even before all this thats how we were raised. tell the ones you love how much you love them and always when they leave because you never know if its the last time you will see or talk to them.. she has stage 4 colon cancer it has already spread to her liver and stumach lymphnodes. she has been on chemo treatment since mid february. she had to go to the emergency room the day of my graduation with a bleeding ulser that was the last thing i expected that day so my graduation wasnt as happy as it was for my other classmates because all i could think about was my mom and i knew she felt guily for not being there i had to tell her to stop saying sorry because if she didnt go to the er the second she did we would have lost her... a few days after she got out of the hospital she went to her cancer doctor and got tests done and the chemo she has been on for months did nothing to the tumors. she has just recently been put on a new chemo treatment to see if it will do anything. i have told her that she doesnt need to be strong for me i told her she has been strong for me my whole life and its my turn to be strong for her. and i an strong infront of her its when im by myself or talking to someone about it when i breakdown. i have always been the kind who keeps everything bottled inside but now my bottle is overflowing and i just dont know how to handle it and now i dont live with lucy anymore and its so hard i miss talkin to her an huggin her. we still talk all the time but its not the same as having her with me 24/7. and i will continue to come on because this helps me let things out. thankyou so much for being there

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i am only 18 i just graduated highschool, i dont have a job yet i am doing babysitting for family throughout the summer. and no my mom wouldnt move in with my grandmother she wants to be with her husband and she has made it clear. i have talked to my mom about how scared i am and how much i love her i cant even count how many times. i know she needs to hear that i love her i always say it i always have even before all this thats how we were raised. tell the ones you love how much you love them and always when they leave because you never know if its the last time you will see or talk to them.. she has stage 4 colon cancer it has already spread to her liver and stumach lymphnodes. she has been on chemo treatment since mid february. she had to go to the emergency room the day of my graduation with a bleeding ulser that was the last thing i expected that day so my graduation wasnt as happy as it was for my other classmates because all i could think about was my mom and i knew she felt guily for not being there i had to tell her to stop saying sorry because if she didnt go to the er the second she did we would have lost her... a few days after she got out of the hospital she went to her cancer doctor and got tests done and the chemo she has been on for months did nothing to the tumors. she has just recently been put on a new chemo treatment to see if it will do anything. i have told her that she doesnt need to be strong for me i told her she has been strong for me my whole life and its my turn to be strong for her. and i an strong infront of her its when im by myself or talking to someone about it when i breakdown. i have always been the kind who keeps everything bottled inside but now my bottle is overflowing and i just dont know how to handle it and now i dont live with lucy anymore and its so hard i miss talkin to her an huggin her. we still talk all the time but its not the same as having her with me 24/7. and i will continue to come on because this helps me let things out. thankyou so much for being there

This is alot for such a young person to handle, but you are doing the right thing by getting it all out and talking about it. I am proud of you for continuing to stand by your mom's side. She is probably almost out of her mind with terror for what will happen to you, pain with her condition and fear for the future. Your strength is helping her.

Don't keep this all bottled up. We will be more than glad to listen to you. And if you are alone and want to cry, then by all means cry. It's okay. This is tough. I bawled my head off every night after I spent all day taking care of my dad. Of course, I knew he was going to die, and I didn't want him to. We all stayed strong and happy and positive for him while he was awake, but when he fell asleep, we fell apart. When he did finally pass on, I cried even more. I never knew a person could cry so much. But I think that helped me, because while I still miss him terribly, the agony of his passing has dimmed. I can even laugh and tell stories about him.

So, I will be here when you need me. feel free to tell me anything and everything you want to share. I will listen.

ModKonnie

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