the pain is unreal..

[lucypott32]

Its been alittle of 5 months since my boyfriend was murdered outside our home and it feels as if it was only yesterday... I miss him so much and all I want to do is be with him but I know thats not possible. I find myself acting as if he will just come back one day and when I realize that hes really gone a sharp pain appears in my chest. Im not the same person anymore. I love you baby.

[liz_aday]

hi. i feel for you. my name is Liz. i just lost my soul mate. he was just yanked out of my life. we were so in love... engaged. he was just fine.. healthy... full of energy... then one morning i found him dead. it was a brain aneurysm that took him only days ago.. 6/7/11 i found him on the bathroom floor. i didn't think he was dead i thought he fainted or something. i couldn't get in the bathroom... he had collapsed against the door... and he was a tall man. i called 911... they took him away. i still can't believe it. reading what you went through breaks my heart. i keep thinking he is still here too.. or that i will see him any second now he will call... and this will all be over. i get so mad at myself over the last few hours we had together.. if only i'd known... i would have only sat in his lap and kissed and hugged him... instead of being stressed out and cranky. i just wanted you to know that i can relate to how you feel Lucy. that is out kitties name. Her most recent nick name we called her was "Lucy Poot" .. close to your screen name. weird huh? i keep posting on his face book "I LOVE YOU BRIAN" people must think i am nuts.. but i really don't care.

[trishdishes]

Don't worry about what other people think...do what you have to do to cope. It has been 2 and 1/2 years for me and I talk to my husband all the time like he was still here, I still wear my wedding ring. I still use the present tense when I talk about him. I still FEEL married. ANd whne my friends suggest I "move on" I just ignore them. Another widow told me early on "there are no rules. Do what works for you" Soem of the best advice I got.

and read The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion. I think I may have already posted that to you...but i am new to this and not sure.

[lucypott32]

LIZ- I am so sorry for your loss. I wish every single day that he would come back to me. I have alot of dreams about him and we are always telling each other how much we love and miss each other. I feel so lost without him.. Everyone tells me to stay strong but its so hard sometimes. The first couple months are the numb period. It is still just now sinking in on his family. His birthday is july 4th, he is going to be 19... were all slowly falling apart.

TRISH- It makes me feel alittle better to know you still wear your ring. I bought a ring that says love waits across it and wear it on my ring finger. I dont want to find anyone else. Theres so many people saying I should already be over his passing but theres no way. He was my life, my soul mate. Nothing feels the same without him..