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Pregnant and Lost my mother


butterbird

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My mother died suddenly on 2/27/11 and at that time i was three and half months pregnant with my first child. Now I am almost seven months and am so sad and depressed. I spoke to her at 930 at night and everything was fine. Then i received a call at 330 in the morning from her landlord that she called them to say she couldnt breathe. They ran upstairs, she opened the door for them and collapsed. He did cpr, called an ambulance and called my sister and I immediately. My husband and I raced to the hospital and were told she had a massive heartattack and she was in critical condition and had a weak pulse. He said the situation was "precarious" (god a fricken word I'll never forget). A half hour later, he came in to tell us they "lost her". I wanted to scream well go find her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its been three and a half months since and I replay that night and the following few days over and over and over and over. I get up, go to work, and do everyday things like a robot. I cry everyday................I cant believe shes gone. She was my mom, best friend, therapist and my everything all in one. I used to talk to her multiple times per day even if they were quick conversations just to tell her something stupid.

I am so nervous all the time, yet cant take anything cause I'm pregnant. I cant imagine feeling like this after the baby is born and having to take care of her (yes its a girl) and I feel so overwhelmed. My husband tries , but lets be honest ...........he's a man (not to offend any men, its just that were different). He can be very supportive, but then I feel like hes losing patience with me. My mother was supposed to watch the baby during the day when i went back to work.................................now I am so lost! I just want her back.!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe I am now part of this secret, silent club that I didnt even know existed until now. The motherless club. I have found only my friends who have gone through this truly understand and thats why i am posting. Please HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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My mother died suddenly on 2/27/11 and at that time i was three and half months pregnant with my first child. Now I am almost seven months and am so sad and depressed. I spoke to her at 930 at night and everything was fine. Then i received a call at 330 in the morning from her landlord that she called them to say she couldnt breathe. They ran upstairs, she opened the door for them and collapsed. He did cpr, called an ambulance and called my sister and I immediately. My husband and I raced to the hospital and were told she had a massive heartattack and she was in critical condition and had a weak pulse. He said the situation was "precarious" (god a fricken word I'll never forget). A half hour later, he came in to tell us they "lost her". I wanted to scream well go find her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its been three and a half months since and I replay that night and the following few days over and over and over and over. I get up, go to work, and do everyday things like a robot. I cry everyday................I cant believe shes gone. She was my mom, best friend, therapist and my everything all in one. I used to talk to her multiple times per day even if they were quick conversations just to tell her something stupid.

I am so nervous all the time, yet cant take anything cause I'm pregnant. I cant imagine feeling like this after the baby is born and having to take care of her (yes its a girl) and I feel so overwhelmed. My husband tries , but lets be honest ...........he's a man (not to offend any men, its just that were different). He can be very supportive, but then I feel like hes losing patience with me. My mother was supposed to watch the baby during the day when i went back to work.................................now I am so lost! I just want her back.!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe I am now part of this secret, silent club that I didnt even know existed until now. The motherless club. I have found only my friends who have gone through this truly understand and thats why i am posting. Please HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Butterbird 1,

I am very sorry about the loss of your mother. I am sure you are still in shock and horror, and with your hormones raging from your pregnancy (which, by the way--congrats), it has to be just simply mind boggling. There are many many people here who have lost their moms and are confused, scared and lost. You have come to the right place.

Do you have any sisters? What about your grandmother or mother in law? I know they are not your mother, but they are women, and well, they may be able to help you through this. Most girls do have a special bond with their mom that only other women understand.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

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dizzydancingway

I just read a really great book called Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman. Turns out she wrote another book called Motherless Mothers. She lost her mom when she was a teenager and her first book talks about the experiences of women, young and old, who lose their mom--and how the experience of losing a mom is unique to women. I assume Motherless Mothers deals with some of the issues that women who lost their mom face when they start having kids.

Here's the link to the book on Amazon:

Motherless Mothers

Motherless Daughters really really helped me cope with my mom's death. She died just two months ago and, being only 27, its been rough on me. You are right about what thing: men don't bond the same way with their mother's that women do. Its different. My dad talks about losing his own mom and its nothing like what I am experiencing. I would give Motherless Mothers a try to see if it might help you.

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I just read a really great book called Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman. Turns out she wrote another book called Motherless Mothers. She lost her mom when she was a teenager and her first book talks about the experiences of women, young and old, who lose their mom--and how the experience of losing a mom is unique to women. I assume Motherless Mothers deals with some of the issues that women who lost their mom face when they start having kids.

Here's the link to the book on Amazon:

Motherless Mothers

Motherless Daughters really really helped me cope with my mom's death. She died just two months ago and, being only 27, its been rough on me. You are right about what thing: men don't bond the same way with their mother's that women do. Its different. My dad talks about losing his own mom and its nothing like what I am experiencing. I would give Motherless Mothers a try to see if it might help you.

Thank you I have looked into that it looks like a great book.

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My mother died suddenly on 2/27/11 and at that time i was three and half months pregnant with my first child. Now I am almost seven months and am so sad and depressed. I spoke to her at 930 at night and everything was fine. Then i received a call at 330 in the morning from her landlord that she called them to say she couldnt breathe. They ran upstairs, she opened the door for them and collapsed. He did cpr, called an ambulance and called my sister and I immediately. My husband and I raced to the hospital and were told she had a massive heartattack and she was in critical condition and had a weak pulse. He said the situation was "precarious" (god a fricken word I'll never forget). A half hour later, he came in to tell us they "lost her". I wanted to scream well go find her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its been three and a half months since and I replay that night and the following few days over and over and over and over. I get up, go to work, and do everyday things like a robot. I cry everyday................I cant believe shes gone. She was my mom, best friend, therapist and my everything all in one. I used to talk to her multiple times per day even if they were quick conversations just to tell her something stupid.

I am so nervous all the time, yet cant take anything cause I'm pregnant. I cant imagine feeling like this after the baby is born and having to take care of her (yes its a girl) and I feel so overwhelmed. My husband tries , but lets be honest ...........he's a man (not to offend any men, its just that were different). He can be very supportive, but then I feel like hes losing patience with me. My mother was supposed to watch the baby during the day when i went back to work.................................now I am so lost! I just want her back.!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe I am now part of this secret, silent club that I didnt even know existed until now. The motherless club. I have found only my friends who have gone through this truly understand and thats why i am posting. Please HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I lost my mom 10 years ago had 3 kids and have gotten married. It was a sad time for me but looking into those babies eyes fills your heart with so much joy! I hope the best for you I know how hard it can be just reach out to the other women in your life. We will be here to chat or to listen just let it out I kept it inside for 10 years just now letting it out and sharing my stories with other I feel so much better. I wish you the best on your baby girl. My daughter is named after my mom, she would have been her first grand daughter.

Brook

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