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Lost my father, and have everyone leaning on me


amae51

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My father died on February 18th 2007. I don't talk about it much, he went to sleep and didn't wake up. He had a fatal heart attack in his sleep, I never got to say goodbye. It still bothers me. We were too much alike and it made our relationship turbulent. Since he passed everyone in my family and even his close friends are leaning on me to "make the world right again". I just cannot do it, Im exhausted, emotionally and physically. I'm saddened because those I thought would be there for me, are simply too occupied with their own lives. I get angry because I have suffered taking care of them- it was my choice I don't hold a grudge- but when I need someone to talk to they disappear. I carried them when they needed it most. Now they bail on me, when I need them most. I know I must sound like a horrible person, but honestly I need someone looking out for me- like my dad would have. These friends and family help my siblings but expect me to be able to take care of myself. I've reached out to them but they cannot handle the fact that I am not just like my dad- the one they all turned to when they were in trouble. I feel better getting this off my chest. How can I better help them understand what I'm going through?

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My father died on February 18th 2007. I don't talk about it much, he went to sleep and didn't wake up. He had a fatal heart attack in his sleep, I never got to say goodbye. It still bothers me. We were too much alike and it made our relationship turbulent. Since he passed everyone in my family and even his close friends are leaning on me to "make the world right again". I just cannot do it, Im exhausted, emotionally and physically. I'm saddened because those I thought would be there for me, are simply too occupied with their own lives. I get angry because I have suffered taking care of them- it was my choice I don't hold a grudge- but when I need someone to talk to they disappear. I carried them when they needed it most. Now they bail on me, when I need them most. I know I must sound like a horrible person, but honestly I need someone looking out for me- like my dad would have. These friends and family help my siblings but expect me to be able to take care of myself. I've reached out to them but they cannot handle the fact that I am not just like my dad- the one they all turned to when they were in trouble. I feel better getting this off my chest. How can I better help them understand what I'm going through?

Have you ever sat down and explained all of this to your family? Have you ever told them you need them, too, and that you are exhausted from all the emotional turmoil?

Other than talking to them, I think you need to start making decision on what you need for your own positive growth and let them learn to stand on their own feet. It will be tough for you all, but it may help you all in the long run.

How old are all of these family members who need you to "make the world right again?"

I feel for you, but we will be here to talk you through this.

ModKonnie

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